Here's the problem:

I weigh MORE now than I have in the past year or so... or since when I started running and being more fit and things.  Usually I see a natural dip in my exercise groove over the winter months, but this is just ridiculous now.  I don't necessarily care about my actual weight, like trying to get down to a specific number or anything.

What matters most to me is the way I look and the way my clothes fit.

I wore a skirt to church last week that I hadn't worn in MONTHS because it was too big and hanging off my hips.  Last week it actually fit and I wore it like any other skirt.  Boo!  That's not good.

Here's the other problem:

I love food.  All the kinds of food you shouldn't love if you want your clothes to fit better.  Cookies, brownies, ice cream, peanut butter, fast food, crackers, etc.  Go ahead, try to give me a speech but I will tune you out, guaranteed. I'm just a big stubborn food mule and I am clearly my own worst enemy.

Part of the issue is my timing and not thinking ahead to be able to plan good, well-rounded meals.  If I'm on my way home from work and super hungry, I tempt myself to stop for fast food, or think about that bowl of cereal I'm going to eat as soon as I walk in the door.  Never do I think about actually "cooking" something when I get home, because that takes up MORE time, and it's some time after 8 or 9pm, most likely, and who wants to be cooking a meal after 9pm?  Not this girl.  I just want to eat.  I'm a food beast.

I also love to tempt myself to make cookies at ridiculous hours of the night, and then I do it and go all out eating cookie dough and love it for the moment.

So here's Step 1.  I need to decide what meals I want to eat ahead of time, and plan for those before I leave for work.  I also need to shop with real meals in mind, rather than just replenishing bread, milk, and cereal every time I go.  I'm not even trying to focus on "healthy meals" just yet... but real meals that will include vegetables or other nutritious things.

Also, if I ever get married one day, I might want to have at least a few sneaky meals up my sleeve.  I can't guarantee any boy will love macaroni and tomato juice as much as I do!  (Mom, I can only imagine the comments you have going through your head right now).

Sooo... here's the other thing.  I keep trying to get back into running but I'm having a hard time balancing the exercise component of my life with the school component of my life.  And it all connects to sleep and the lack thereof.  But I like running and I WANT to do it. It's just a matter of making myself go to bed early enough to wake up early enough... while somehow still getting my homework done in time.

I got this special deal on "Living Social Deals" a while ago that was good for 1 month of Crossfit in Draper.  If you're not familiar with crossfit, it is a style of working out that requires heavy lifting and fast-paced routines that get your heart going like crazy.  Crossfit gyms are all over the place and are more like open warehouse facilities, more-so than a "Golds Gym" setting.  There are small classes with trainers there to cheer you on and monitor the reps, routines, etc.  I know about crossfit because my roommate, Cassity has been an avid crossfit person for the past 2 years.  And she has some serious muscles on her!  It has been neat to see her transformation, inside and out, and she is a huge advocate for crossfit.  I consider myself too wimpy for that kind of stuff because I can barely do 1 "boy" push-up and certainly can't do a single pull-up.

Well... my monthly special at crossfit begins TONIGHT.  I am a little nervous.  I am also a little sore from skiing on Saturday, so I feel like I'm already at a disadvantage.  :)

There are 3 fundamental classes of crossfit for the trainers to watch you and decide if you can handle crosffit for real.  It kind of makes me chuckle... what if I don't "pass"?  What if I can't handle it?  That will be a huge ego buster.  So I have tonight, Tuesday, and Thursday, and I guarantee I will be sooooo sore by Thursday I'll want to rip my arms and legs off.  And THEN I have to take the teens skiing one last time on Saturday and I know my legs will be burning and completely on fire.  At least that is all that I am anticipating and mentally preparing for.

So here goes nothin', 'eh?

I'll try to keep up on things more frequently so you can stalk my day to day progress... or lack thereof.