Gangs in Utah? You Betcha

I always include some kind of picture or clipart for my posts... but what do you put for a post about gangs?  I certainly don't want to put real pictures of gangs, because those are just depressing and often disturbing.  I even looked for "gang clipart" and most results include "Mickey Mouse gang" and "Peanuts gang" and an old 90's TV show "The Get Along Gang."  (Seriously!  I remember that show!)  Anyway... I will just write and share, yet, another experience at the Boys & Girls Club today.

Let me give you a brief history of my childhood and teenage years.  (Please take no offense to any "stereotyping" that might take place... it's just how I saw things growing up and viewed certain situations).

I grew up in San Jose, CA and was often the minority among my friends.  I was the "white girl", if you will, and had only a few close friends at school.  I hated my school years, actually-- super insecure and not comfortable with the social status scene and everything else going on.  I remember the druggies; I remember the gangsters; I remember the snobby people that everyone "loved"; I remembered the nerds;  I remembered the too-good-for-you jocks who ran the show.  And I was somewhere in between all of that.  Lots of people loved their middle school and high school years, but I am totally okay not ever going back there.  The coolest thing for me was that I played the drum set and not many girls did that... so that was a plus. 

I remember I was scared to go to the mall because that's where all the gangsters were.  Or anyone seemed intimidating, for that matter, and I always felt like a "not so cool" person.  Then my family moved to York, Pennsylvania the middle of my 11th grade year... and as much as I hated that change in the beginning, it was great.  I wasn't a minority anymore and seemed to fit in better with my band friends and softball buddies.  I could go shopping and feel at ease and not have to "watch my back" or anything like that.  I still wasn't a fan of school but it seemed a little easier and a little less intimidating.  And I wasn't sad to leave CA.  It's been nearly 15 years since we moved and I have been back to San Jose once... which I guess goes to show how much I didn't mind moving away from that "scary place." 

I graduated high school, went to BYU for 4 years (loved it!!) and found myself back in Pennsylvania a few months after graduating.  I landed a job as a Youth Program Director at the YMCA in York and had some great eye-opening experiences.  First of all, the YMCA was in downtown, York... the "ghetto", as some might call it.  There were gun shootings in neighboring streets and sometimes it was a little nerve-racking to walk to my car in the parking lot at night.  But for the most part, I liked my job and the environment didn't really phase me. 

I soon took on responsibilities as the teen advisor for a "Youth in Government" program.  It was for high school students who met weekly to discuss their own ideas for bills to debate and eventually try to pass in the house and senate.  (Yeah, I know nothing about politics and what-not so it was a hoot trying to pretend I knew that kind of stuff).  But these kids were awesome and I grew to really care about them.  Most of them were gay or lesbian-- boys and girls-- and there were all kinds of love triangles going on.  Sometimes I lost track of who was with who, and who had been with who, etc.  It was drama all over the place.  They were black, white, Latino, or multi-race... and I was the token white Mormon girl. :)  But they loved this club and showed up weekly and we had so much fun together.  In the beginning, I didn't tell them I was Mormon... I was still in that "shy/timid" phase about sharing the gospel and didn't want to deal with questions or criticism.  But one week I told them I was going to Utah and wouldn't be there the following week.  One kid said, "Ewww, why do you want to go to Utah? There's tons of Mormons there."  And another kid nudged him and said, "C'mon man, what if she WAS Mormon?!"  So it was a nice, awkward moment... and finally I exhaled and said, "Yep, I'm Mormon!"  So that was that, and from then on there were all kinds of questions or opportunities for me to clarify things they'd heard... mostly from "South Park". :)

We would go to conferences with other groups from PA and they'd throw up a "gang-like 'M'" sign and yell out, "MorMON!" and give me props.  I really tried to keep them from doing that-- mainly because it was super embarrassing and my little ghetto kids already stood out in a sea of "proper white kids" as it was.  But I loved their diversity and I loved their pride for who they were.  Gay or not, poor or not, ghetto or not, they were proud of who they were and worked hard.  That was 7 years ago and I am still in touch with all of them today.  I love that!  My hope is to get us all together one day so we can laugh about how crazy things were, and celebrate our successes and how grown-up we are now.  Granted, they'll give me a hard time for not being married and make funny Mormon jokes, but kids are kids. 

Now for the whole point of this post:  (WOW I sure do ramble sometimes!)

If you ever wondered if there were gangs in Utah.  Yes.  Lots of them.  More than you would think.  I've attended the annual "Utah Metro Gang Unit" conference the past 2 years and have certainly been educated by law enforcement and other officials on all the gangs around, their colors, their signs, their numbers, their enemies... pretty much everything I need to know while working in an environment that needs to remain safe. When I first started working at the Boys & Girls Club in Midvale (located between Salt Lake City and Sandy)... the teen center had quite a few little gangsters.  You see them right away-- long navy blue T-shirts, Blue Cortez or Converse, Belts hanging down, shaved heads, etc.  Yet we still let them in the Club as long as they weren't "promoting" their gang or doing any harm.  They just wanted to play pool or sit on the couch with their girls.  Gradually the teen program changed... I enforced more structure and more productivity.  This year we started a new education emphasis which requires the teens to separate by grade into groups to work on homework everyday.  Yeah, gangsters don't like that stuff... so needless to say, we don't have a lot of gangsters that come to the program anymore.  I didn't intend to lose those kids, or to create a program that wouldn't appeal to them.  It was just the result of how things happened.  The sad thing is some of our "good, normal kids" have stopped coming to Club and have since found an alternative.

Join a gang.  THE gang.

It's sad to see a kid one day in his usual clothes and a happy-go-lucky attitude... and a few weeks later he's become one of them.  Just like that.  Everything has changed, from his clothes to his countenance, and it's a tough thing to try to get them back.  I still encourage them to come to Club, while they're still kind of an individual... but eventually they mesh with the group and then they all move around in a pack, like their individuality has dimished for good. 

Our little gangsters (avg. age 14-16) like to tag up Midvale.  And it's not cool graffiti in any way... just dumb tagging to make things look ugly.  Or I guess to "claim their territory."  They like tagging so much that they tagged up our Club van... and a few days later tagged up our Club bus.  That was kind of a low blow.  My boss was super angry, took pictures, gave them to the cops... but nothing could be done since no one really saw anyone doing it.  But we know who all the kids are... we know their names, we know their friends... we even know the "leaders" and who's really calling the shots.  My boss is the bomb and I love him.  He's cool and really understands kids-- especially those who are rough around the edges-- and he gives them so many chances to change and prove that they can be better.  But in the past few months, they got one too many chances and really burned the respect that they'd ever been given from the Club.  Just down-right disrespectul kids and we didn't see them for a long time.  Every now and then I'd see them walking down the street and just feel sad that they chose to live the gangster lifestyle and couldn't be real kids anymore. 

Even though I'm still the "white Mormon girl" I feel strong (stronger than 10 years ago) and don't fear these boys.  I saw a few of them the other day-- one with a shaved head, and another with lots of hair-- so I just made a joke about the one kid having all his hair, was he going to shave it, etc.  Just friendly talk... enough for them to know I don't hate their guts and still treat them like normal kids.

Well today 5 of our gangsters came to the Club.  It was 6pm and they all came into my office, just chillin' and being normal and nice.  One kid looked pretty banged up and had a huge goose-egg on his forehead.  Even though he told me he'd fallen off his scooter (yeah right, what gangster rides a little Razor scooter around)... I knew he'd just been in a fight and was probably hiding out.  I insisted that he put ice on it and got a little bag of ice for him.  A while later I played pool with one of the kids who's head was so perfectly shaven I just kept staring at it because I'd never seen such a flawless head.  I beat him at pool. :)  The others wanted to play our Xbox Kinects dance game (which was a surprise) so I turned it on for them and it was funny to see them dance-- or at least try to.  We had leftovers from dinner that the Food Bank delivers, so I asked the boys if they wanted any, and they all followed me into the kitchen.  I felt like a little mother hen feeding her chicks.  They piled on heaping amounts of the macaroni stuff, and some asked for seconds.  I watched them and thought maybe some of these kids hadn't had a decent meal in a long time.  We had a good chat while we were in the kitchen.  I let them know that we know what's going on... we're fully aware of the things they're doing.  I reassured them they're not "bad kids" but they make bad decisions and do a lot of stupid things.  They complained about people always judging or blaming them because they're "Mexican."  Uhh... nope, not that... pretty sure it's the gangster image they've chosen to promote, and of course any spectator will make assumptions of 5 teens, shaved heads, all dressed in blue baggy clothes, etc.  They just don't get it, and I don't think they have any intentions of changing their ways or walking away from it.  But for a moment, those boys were really just boys, and weren't acting all tough and gangster-like.

I don't know what my intentions are with these boys.  I don't know how far we let it go to allow them to be at the Club without them influencing the other kids in a negative way.  But today was okay, and I was actually happy to see them there.  My boss recently took a job at a different Club (I'll miss him!) and he specifically told me to keep my eye out for the gang stuff.  It's all on my shoulders now and I'm the one who needs to be on my toes and keep an ear and eye out for what's going on.  I just hope that in some, small way I can make a difference in these kids lives.  Not sure how yet... but I won't give up.  Not yet.

As I drove home from work I passed the 5-pack walking down the street towards me.  I honked my horn and gave a little wave and a smile.  And that's when I thought about my childhood... and my YMCA teens... and how far I've come.  Who passes a group of "scary" gangsters and waves?  I love my job. :)