Addicted... in a ridiculous way.

I give one of my teens a hard time because she is literally attached to her cell phone.  Even if it's plugged into the wall to charge, she's sitting right there next to it, phone in hand, waiting for the next sign of communication from "that boy" or whoever she's waiting to hear from.

And as much as I make fun of her and tell her she's ridiculous...

I'm just as ridiculous.  I'm totally attached to my cell phone.  And not only am I attached to it, I'm addicted to checking for messages like every 20 seconds.  It's always right next to me wherever I am-- on my desk, on my lap, next to my bed, on the bathroom counter, on the couch, etc.  The only time it's not with me is when I'm running... but sometimes if I run at night, then yes, I have it with me.  Even when I'm in the shower, I keep it in the bathroom, and if I hear the little "text message sound" go off during my shower, I have something to look forward the whole time-- totally anxious to check that message when I'm done.  *sigh*  It's kind of pathetic, I know.

I'm guilty of texting and driving, and you can lecture me all you want for all the reasons why it is totally unsafe and dumb.  I know.  I know all of those things are totally true and it's super dangerous to text while driving.  I do lots of things while I'm driving:  steer with my knees, put on my mascara, eat bowls of cereal... whatever.  But back to my phone, it's like I can't handle driving without sending a text out so I can hope to receive one back.  Isn't that lame?  So the past few days I've just tucked my phone in my little purse and kept it there.  This is especially a big deal for when I drive to work because it takes about 30 minutes.  That's 30 whole minutes of not checking my phone... but I know it's safer, and I'm trying to be better.

I don't know why getting a text is so exciting.  It just is.  Especially when I don't have to have my phone on silent and I get to hear that happy little sound that tells me I just got a text.  And if it IS on silent, like while I'm at work, that just means I check it more frequently, to make sure I didn't miss that special message.  Because you know me-- I'm kind of a big deal and any message I receive during the day is like super important.  <<sarcasm>>  Well, all text messages are a big deal to me, so if you ever send me one... I really love it.

Here's where it gets worse... speaking of addictions:

Freakin' e-mail.  I check it every day... all day.  Like every 5 minutes.  I have a computer sitting so bright and happy on my desk at work, and my office is right in the middle of the teen center so I'm in there most of the day.  At least before the teens get there (11am-3pm) I'm in my office working on random things, but my gmail is just a few clicks away, and I check it frequently.  Like... way too often.  And even when the teens show up, if I ever have a free moment or need to look something up on the computer... yep... I'll just hurry and open up my gmail account, just in case something else new showed up.

Here's why my gmail account is a big deal:  Of course that's where I get normal e-mails, but also any Facebook notifications and any comments that have appeared on my blog.  So it's a 3 in 1 deal to let me know what's going on in my social worlds. :)  Sometimes the internet is down at the Boys & Girls Club (ghetto technology) and those days are like torture for me.  What?! I have to go a few hours without checking my e-mail!?  I guess if I get really antsy, I can always look up my gmail on my phone, but it's not like a super fancy phone, and sometimes that's more trouble than it's worth.  I just love my super fast computer that will get me to my gmail in just a few seconds.

So here's my routine:  I check my gmail first, before anything else.  If it shows a lot of activity that took place on Facebook, I'll log into Facebook so I can comment on things or comment on pics, etc.  If I've received some good comments on my blog, I'll go to my blog to read them from there, just to see the blog and comments altogether. :) But gmail is what links me to everything else and keeps me on my toes.  If I check my gmail every 5 minutes and my inbox keeps coming up with no "new mail", I know nothing has happened in Facebook or on my blog either.  Sometimes I've tried to go for a "long time" without checking my e-mail, but since it's an addiction, it kind of drives me crazy.  But seriously, if I could just wait til the END of the day to open my gmail account... think of how many fun messages I would have waiting for me!  It would probably be even more fun then checking it so often throughout the day and finding little morsels of surprises every now and then.  Yes, I should really try to wait 'til the end of the day.  I'll do that one of these days.  

*sigh*

Anyway, I'm kind of controlled by my phone and e-mail obsessions.  It's like I'm totally obsessed with being connected to other people.  I would never survive if I was the last human alive on the earth.  Nope, it would never work out for me.