Bounce Back

I love Sundays because they bring out a lot of emotion.  Sometimes it is emotion connected to feeling the Spirit.  Sometimes it is emotion from exhaling after a long and stressful week.  Sometimes it is emotion reflecting on my life and all the unknowns.  Sometimes it is emotion for love towards others, especially my family.  Sometimes it is emotion simply because I am a girl.

Today was filled with plenty of emotions, and it felt good.  I sat through a Young Women lesson on how the girls can prepare to be mothers and my eyes were filled with tears the entire time.  I was embarrassed because I didn't want the teacher to think I was offended or emotionally unstable because I am "32 and single and not a mother."  No, I don't give myself that pity party.  But nevertheless, I was all sorts of teary-eyed!  I thought of how far I am from being a mother... I need to get the whole dating game down first and sometimes I'd rather just be a mom.  But I thought of all the kids at work who have made a little snide comment like, "Bree, you're just like my mom!"  And I decided today... I'm totally okay with that.  I love that I can be a mom to someone!  So next time one of the teens tell me I'm like their mom, I will sincerely thank them.  Then tell them to go home and clean their room.  :)

A friend of mine sent me a nice message this week, commenting on how much she admires my positive attitude.  I really appreciate her sharing that with me, because believe you me, it isn't easy.  However, I've never been one to fall into deep depression or really let myself wallow in sorrow and pity.  I distinctly remember a time back in 2005 when a summer fling with a boy ended in a slap in the face heartbreak, and before I had any time to manage my emotions, my brother-in-law said the following:

"Bree... don't write a song about this one.  Just keep going.  Don't let yourself get depressed."  

Maybe it wasn't that, word for word, but I do remember him specifically telling me not to write a song about it.  Haha.  Often-times music is my "go to" for dealing with my emotions, and I can fall into a zone of whatever-ness and not really snap out of it for a while.  I've written plenty of "crap, it didn't work out" love songs and they helped me get past the situation.  I'm glad my brother-in-law told me to just move on from that one, and I did.  Maybe I cried a little and felt really sad, but I was able to bounce back and keep going.  

I guess that's how I deal with most things in my life now.  I make myself bounce back because I refuse to miss out on what could be an awesome day or a new friendship... because I was stuck in a state of sadness or frustration.  Right now I am totally distracted by my job and I love it.  The relationships I have with so many of those kids are priceless and I wouldn't trade them for anything.  They give me purpose and meaning and sincerely make me happy.  I'm grateful for close friends and my family for just keeping it real and supporting me in the various adventures of my life.  I'm grateful for people at church who acknowledge my "example" or my "optimism" or whatever it is they have observed.  And I'm grateful for my cuddly dog. :)

This morning I spent some time reading an Ensign article that we had been encouraged to read at a stake meeting this week.  It is by Elder David A. Bednar entitled The Atonement and the Journey of Mortality.  It was just what I needed to read and I really liked everything Elder Bednar shared.  A quote I really liked said the following:

"As you and I come to understand and employ the enabling power of the Atonement in our personal lives, we will pray and seek for strength to change our circumstances rather than praying for our circumstances to be changed."

And I think that pretty much sums up my perspective on bouncing back.  Don't let your life be determined by someone else or something else... but keep on pressing forward and take control of what is in your power to control.  The Lord is there to help us and lift us however we need, but we need to be willing to take our own steps toward wherever it is we want to be.  

I have no idea where I want to be. :)

But I at least know the direction to be heading... so I'll just keep going!