I joined eHarmony.com the day after Christmas-- December 26, 2011. I wanted to blog about my experience and am naturally an open person about my life. I didn't know what would happen or if anything would come from eHarmony. 5 days later I received a match from Bellevue, Washington-- David-- who I decided to call "Washington Warrior" or "WaWo" for short. We sped through the eHarmony process and exchanged some really fun e-mails. Within a few weeks we jumped to phone texts and phone calls, with an occasional Skype session here and there.
I met David in person for the first time on February 18th. It was a fun weekend. He came out to Utah again the weekend of March 17th. I flew out to Washington the weekend of April 14th. Most of you are aware of my roller coaster of emotions and my indecisive ability to just go with the flow and let life happen. I think I think too much. Or worry too much. Or hope for too much. Or idealize too much. Or stress too much. I am a girl. Sometimes it's just hard being a girl. And dating is hard. And being single is hard. So I don't have a good solution for that dilemma.
Well the eHarmony dating experience has come to an end. David and I decided that it just isn't going to work out. Long distance and communication barriers make relationships hard. And that is the short and simple version. I won't be going to WA this weekend but we will still be friends. I think for now I need to not dwell on it and allow myself to think about other things. But of course it is a mix of emotions and I'm taking it one day at a time.
So now it's back to Square 1. eHarmony matches still come every now and then but none of them have appealed to me the way David did. Most matches take me about 10 seconds to glance at a picture and read through their profile to know that it's not going to be anything to pursue. I have wanted to quit eHarmony but I keep forgetting, and then I get charged for another month. Dang it. So maybe I'll let May roll out as it is... but I'm really not looking to jump into any dating right now. I'm really not good at it.
I have learned a lot.
There are many things I will do differently next time.
I can't change the past but I can plan to be awesome in the future.
And as for now... I'll hope that life will be good.
Don't be put off Bree.
ReplyDeleteSometimes the hardest times come right before the best.
You're beautiful, fun and will make a fantastic partner in crime to some stud soon.
Keep at it, girl. Do what you gotta do, just take some advice from me and STAY BRAVE. Like you said, dating is hard, and being single is hard. DO NOT BE AFRAID OF DATING. DO NOT BE AFRAID OF BEING SINGLE. Do not be afraid to say "I'm going to try something new!" OR "I'm going to leave this aside for now." Don't be afraid to take those leaps OR choose to stay safely away from the edge. Those choices are yours, and whether they are right or not is between you and God, so allow yourself to feel safe with them either way. :) Stay brave, my dear. Life is good. ;)
ReplyDeleteFor some people (like me) dating takes practice. Chin up and keep getting practice. If anything it makes for stories down the road.
ReplyDeleteJake
Keep taking yourself out of your comfort zone and in new places to meet people. No regrets. Stay confident. You are a hot catch, a right one just hasn't crossed your path yet.
ReplyDeleteAwwww.... I'm sorry it didn't work out :( But you are awesome, and I know you can do whatever you need do. Relationships are hard. Life is hard. But it's good too. I have a lot of faith in you, Bree, and you know yourself better than anyone else, so take any advice with a grain of salt. Keep writing! I live for your posts!
ReplyDeleteMy heart's hurting- this is the part of parenthood that's hard! Wish I could be there to give you a big hug! But as you always remind us- Life is Good! Carry on!!
ReplyDeleteNow it's Heather, your seester. I just want to say that you are awesome and have always been awesome and will continue to be awesome, for SURE. And I believe that life will be good. And you'll be happy. I love you so much my girl! I'll give you a hug for Mom.
ReplyDeleteI know you don't know me, but I found your blog from another.
ReplyDeleteI recently was single and decided (out of the blue) one day to put a profile on LDSSingles.com. I have to be honest--I was REALLY disappointed in the attitudes and behaviors of the majority of the people on there. I often double checked to make sure it was the "LDS" dating site.
In fact, I deleted my profile the same day I put it up. :) But the next morning I had the impression to just post the profile. Just let it be. I decided not to pay the $15 and just did the free profile post. I was able to still get "flirts" (I never liked that they called it that) where people just say "Hello" or whatever. I decided I would only check the website once every 3 days...or a week, just to see if anyone left comments.
I ended up getting some messages, but I couldn't read them until I paid the $15 membership fee. So...I decided I would pay just for ONE month. I was curious as to what the messages said. I got a message from someone and he seemed really cool. He lived the Gospel the way I did. He was offended at inappropriate things, as I am. Anyway...we clicked. The problem was, I was not really physically attracted to him. But he was such an amazing guy. Another problem was, I was kind of judgmental of him. He had gone to trade school and didn't have a 4 year degree. I graduated with a 4 year degree (pursuing a masters) and I was being a little haughty about that for a minute... until I stopped to think about what is really important when we get down to the nitty gritty. What matters most is how a person treats another. Are they kind? Do they honor the Priesthood, love the Gospel, have a testimony and love the Lord? That was what mattered most to me above all else. He did-and to make a long story short...I married him (just a few months ago). The physical attraction has grown daily because he is such a great person.
I have no doubt that you will find someone who will be a great match for you. I think these things happen when you really aren't looking for them to happen. Just keep being your fun self and enjoy life daily. Find happiness in the journey. I know you do.
Hey "Unknown Girl"... I love that you randomly found my blog. I appreciate your comment and agree with what you shared. I tried LDSsingles 10 years ago :) and since I didn't really like it, that's why I opted for eHarmony this time. I am much more interested in having an emotional connection with someone than the physical stuff. Although the physical aspects are nice, I need to feel safe and be able to feel a good connection with someone through the way we talk and get to know each other. I know I'll find that one day... and congratulations on your new husband! :)
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