Texting & Driving Habit

 I've decided to turn over a new leaf.  I need to be a more careful and cautious driver.  The picture above is pretty much  a snapshot of my driving life.  Although I claim to be a good driver and know my surroundings on the road, I get completely distracted with everything that doesn't have to do with driving.

Common activities while driving:

#1 TEXTING (I know I know, I'll get to this in a minute...)

#2 Eating... usually a bowl of cereal.

#3 Apply my mascara

#4 Talk on the phone

#5 Write in my planner (I've been known to do this quite a few times)

#6 Read (Back in the days of Hunger Games & Harry Potter)

#7 Change songs, etc. on my iPod

I'll stop there because this is getting embarrassing.  I am not--by any means-- glorifying any of these actions or habits that I've developed.  I guess a daily 30 min. one-way commute has given me some time for creativity... and stupidity.  It's just routine:

I jump into my car.  Fiddle with my iPod and set the playlist I want for the day.  Balance my bowl of cereal or rest it on the dashboard.  Get on I-15 and do my mascara at the same spot every day.  Usually around the point of the mountain.  I'll text throughout the drive to give me something to do and give me time to receive responses and whatnot.  If I've just had a phone call to set an appointment or something, I whip out my planner and write it down.  I used to read at stoplights and stuff, but I don't think I've ever read while on the freeway.  I can't make any promises though.  And most of the time I am relaxed and steering with my knees.

How have I managed to stay alive all these years?!  I am a walking (driving) miracle.

I know none of these habits are good.  And they are dangerous.  But nothing has really made me stop.  I've seen all the billboards, YouTube videos, and pleading messages about not texting and driving.  Even the most heart-wrenching stories about deaths from texting and driving... I'm just kind of numb to it all and kept on in my merry little behaviors.  I'm really good at "acting natural" as cars pass by me (so they're not alarmed) and then I go back to whatever I was doing.  

So last week at work I had run to get something to eat and was driving back to the Club.  I was a few minutes late so I texted my staff guys to let them know I'd be there in a few minutes.  I was sitting at a red light at the time, so not technically driving.  Anyway, when I got to Club and walked into the Teen Center, all the teens and staff were waiting for me, and on the count of 3 they yelled in unison:  "DON'T TEXT AND DRIVE!!!"  Without even trying to defend myself, I exclaimed, "I know!! It's so bad!! I do it all the time!! ALL THE TIME!"  It was like a moment of confession.  And then complete shame.  And embarrassment.  A few minutes later I was talking to one of my staff and realized, "hey! I wasn't even driving when I sent that text! I was at a red light!"  So I yelled that out to the teen center to try to redeem myself... but I realized I had already spilled the unfortunate truth.  

I AM GUILTY OF TEXTING AND DRIVING.  EVERY DAY.  ALWAYS.  

I heard some teens call out how it's dangerous, etc... and I said, "I know I know..." and just brushed it off.  But later as I met with my new "Squad" for the school year (a group of teens I picked to be on my squad for competitions and what not), we were setting goals.  As most of their goals were about grades and school topics, I announced that my goal was to stop texting and driving.  And I meant it.  I told them to check back with me in a week to see how I was doing.

That night I drove home, committed to no texting.  It was kind of boring, and I struggled several times.  My music didn't seem as entertaining and the drive seemed EXTRA long.  But I made it.  The next day was tough for me.  I always keep my phone right there within reach, in case someone calls (or texts).  Without even thinking, I reached for my phone a few times ready to send a text to someone... sat there holding it... and slowly put it down.  It was the weirdest thing-- like a real addiction.  And it was a huge turning point for me.  A light bulb epiphany.

I've never been addicted to drugs, alcohol, smoking, pornography, or any of those kinds of things.  I never really understood why people would continue to harm themselves.  And here I was reaching for my phone like it was nothing.  It was so natural for me I didn't even realize I was doing it.  And suddenly I had a new perspective on addiction.  Obviously, I knows it's hard for people to stop doing those things they're addicted to, but I had become so careless in my own situation and didn't even care.  I've always thought:  "Why would someone continue to do drugs if they know what it's doing to their family, friends, health, etc?"  And they keep doing it.  Well... why would I continue to text & drive when I know how dangerous it is and can result in terrible outcomes?  Yet I kept doing it.  And I wasn't any better than anyone else.

Working with teens really puts an added weight on my life-- a good weight.  I know I am constantly in the light of setting an example, being a role model, and setting forth the footsteps they can follow in.  Just as they will struggle with their own issues and addictions (especially when I meet with teens as a school counselor), I can empathize and give them hope for change.  I have to be strong and good-- all the time.  I don't have any room to be lazy, careless, thoughtless, or dumb.  I have to be smart for me and them.

But last week was the first time I really changed it.  And it hasn't even been a week yet so I can't claim to be some amazing person.  But I'm trying.  Tonight a friend jokingly told me to just put my phone in my trunk and then the temptation won't even be there.  So I did.  And the ride home was pleasant, without any form of temptation.  And I felt good when I got home.

This is Bree all open and honest about her huge weakness.  Take it or leave it.

Today one of the teens asked me if I had been texting and driving and I was so happy to tell her, "NO!!" :)  And I explained that I almost messed up a few times but didn't let myself slip.  Here's to many more days and safe adventures of being smart.  May my life be long and lovely.