Week 2-- Master's Program

Today was a great day.  I'm so relieved!  After this second class I feel much more confident and capable in being successful in the school counseling program.  At first I sat there for a while, feeling somewhat frustrated that I don't have my "class buddy" to chat with or hang out with during the dinner break.  As I mentioned last week, my partner to work with is the only guy in the class.  He doesn't talk.  Like, ever.  Not because he's a jerk or anything... he just doesn't talk.  So as everyone else around us is chattering and laughing, I'm sitting next to a tree stump who doesn't respond much if I even try to make conversation.  So I just don't.  I wondered today if I should just sit somewhere random next week.  There's no assigned seating, but it's one of those things where people kind of have "their seats" now and it's an unspoken agreement that we will continue sitting in "our seats."  I like the location of my seat... right in the center of our little group of 10 people, but I wish I was at a table with someone else.  No offense to the quiet guy.  (Turns out he is married with 4 kids, so I guess I have to give him a break and just think of him as a quiet Dad trying to advance his career.  Good for him.)

So anyway, I was feeling a little slumpish at the beginning of class today.  Luckily that changed.

Somewhere in the course of 3 hours, I blossomed a little and found myself.  We split up into groups and did a little "teaching" in our groups and explained the different skills we were learning. Luckily a chattery girl joined me and Quiet Guy so there was more energy flowing in the group. The thing I love is that so far, everything we're learning is 100% applicable to my job at the Boys & Girls Club.  Either "I've been there, done that" or it's a skill I am totally going to try out on the teens.  It's easy for me to grasp these concepts and embrace them.  The information isn't useless or hard to understand.  I like it. 

Then our instructor assigned us each one of those skills we'd just discusses, and we were to do an oral presentation on our specific skill.  We had 30 minutes for a dinner break and we would all do our presentations when we returned. 

Here's the thing.  I stress out big time over little things like this.  Not just in the moment, but like this WHOLE DAY I was nervous and anxious for this oral presentation.  I didn't know what we'd be presenting on so it's not like I could practice or anything.  I just knew it was coming, and that stressed me out.

So in my 30 minutes of dinner break, eating an apple instead of going somewhere with the fun, chattery people, I took my notes and practiced my presentation out loud.  Outside.  It was fun.  That's how I've learned to do my "talks" in church.  I just sit on my bed and start talking and see how things flow.  Then I can go back and change what I didn't like, or recognize that my introduction was lame, and do it again.  So there I was, outside in the dark, talking to myself.  A few people walked by; I tried to act normal. :)  But once I'd gone over my little presentation enough to feel good about it, I walked back inside and was confident I would do okay.  I had 5 minutes to spare. 

My topic was the first skill used in basic interviewing: "Attending Behavior," which basically addresses the need to show genuine interest in the client, make it all about THEM and not YOU, and provide an atmosphere that will help them feel comfortable and allow them to freely express their thoughts.  The 3 main ways to do this are:  physical posture (sit comfortably and be natural), eye contact, and verbal communication to let the client know you're listening and interested.  So that's the basic idea of the info I was sharing in my presentation.

So there were 5 people that went before me.  Each person shared their presentations on one of the 5 skills, so another girl presented the same skill that I had been assigned.  I like this girl a lot-- she reminds me of the girl on 500 Days of Summer & Elf (Zoey something).  Anyway, as outspoken and chipper as she is during class, she was super nervous and flustered during her presentation.  It surprised me... but it also helped me relax a little and think, "Okay, I can do this."  The instructor and all classmates were evaluating each presenter, and then we shared our comments right after their presentation-- pro's and con's.  I have no problem raising my hand and sharing feedback & comments, and I liked being able to speak openly during this portion of class. It felt good seeing my instructor nod her head in agreement when I shared the things I had observed, etc.  (I'm finding that I am very much a "seeker of approval" from my authorities, when it comes to stuff like this.  I don't kiss up or try to be the teacher's pet... it just helps to have that kind of comfort when the teacher confirms that you're on the right track, or you're doing well).

So finally it was my turn.  I was nervous of course, but I was excited to present my portion because I had prepared a more fun and enthusiastic approach to the assignment, more-so than those who had already presented.  I was confident and happy and didn't use any notes at all.  I glanced at my instructor a few times (right in front of me) and she had a huge smile on her face.  (phew!) I really had fun up there, and "showed" the class all the aspects of the skills I was presenting on.  --being physically comfortable (not folding your arms), making eye contact (but not too much or that gets creepy), and responding verbally to what the client is saying.  I had an intro, an "outline," and a solid conclusion.

When I finished, everyone immediately clapped and I took a cheesy little bow. I'm not telling you this to brag or to throw myself into the #1 spot.  I just want to describe the change in my confidence that took place from the beginning to end of class today.  The first comment on my presentation was 500 Days Girl.  She said, "How did you DO that?!  It was flawless!"  Another girl loved how energetic and engaging I was.  Another said I just totally boosted the energy level in the room and everyone was happier.  Another said she only heard the word "Um" once, but it still flowed and wasn't an issue.  It felt good. 

I have "post-presentation nerves"... meaning I usually shake or tremble more AFTER the presentation (or talk at church) than during the actual moment of speaking.  It's weird.  So I sat down in my seat, feeling very proud of myself, and was shaking quiet a bit.  I could also feel that my neck and face were probably bright red, but I can't help that, unfortunately.

But here is my concluding thought:  Everyone was so complimentary and "in awe" of this random presentation of mine.  I think it was a great opportunity for me to show them who I am and what I can do... and hopefully they'll want me to be in their group when it comes time to do group presentations and what not.  Don't let me be with Quiet Guy just by default!

Also, one girl said I should be a motivational speaker, bless her heart.  I told her I always get so nervous, but somehow it usually turns out okay.  *Ding!*  I'll consider it a blessing.

So overall conclusion to WEEK 2-- loved it.  I like what I'm learning, which is basically just very general info to see if we can apply it and show that we're capable of really sticking it out in the actual school program.  We have one more week of info to soak in;  then the last 3 weeks are evaluation periods and 2 more instructors will join us to observe.  Kind of intense!  As much as I stress ahead of time... things usually turn out okay.

I just need to keep telling myself that. :)