Week 5-- Master Pass or Fail

This was by far the most difficult week I've had in the program.  Not because of material covered, papers assigned, or presentations given.  It was difficult because I wasn't at the top of my game; I wasn't doing well in our "mock counseling" sessions and it really rocked my confidence.

Like right now, at this very moment, I worry about whether or not I will pass or fail this assessment.

I am nervous!  My face is red and hot and has been that way for the past hour.

At least I can recognize the emotions and identify where they stem from.  It was when we had split up into groups and we tooks turns as the counselor, client, or observer.  This week we had specific scenarios to role play and it was all around a frustrating experience for me.  I looked up on the board and saw the topics we were going to cover:

1. Parents are getting divorced. 
2. Student is referred by someone else; issues with depression and suicide
3. Student found out she is pregnant
4.  Parents just don't understand their situation
5.  Problems with bullying.

So I was thinking, "Are you kidding me?  I deal with these issues almost on a daily basis." I could pretty much reinact each scenario and know the exact dialogue the teen used, and then be able to act out how I responded. 

*sigh*

Well, turns out, my skills aren't as great as I thought they were.

While I was in the middle of talking to my "client" about their parents getting a divorce, my instructor abruptly stopped me and said firmly, "You are asking all these questions for YOU.  It's not about YOU.  It's about THEM.  You need to ask questions for THEM."  Then she just backed away like, "Okay... now go ahead and do it right."  Sheesh!  I was a mess.  I know I was bright red, and usually when my authority approaches, I'm hoping (or expecting) them to compliment or give some kind of positive comment.  Obviously I have a hard time not being "perfect" or not doing it right.  I really struggled through that scenario.

*deep breaths*

We continued to rotate and take turns, and each of us kind of got tripped up in places.  But then my turn came around again and I was working with a client who's parent's "just didn't understand."  So I was trying to find out what was going on and how she felt at home, etc.  Suddenly my instructor stops me-- again-- and said, "What is the emotion she is feeling?!"  My mind was blank. Ummmmm.  So I finally said, "I can tell she's frustrated."  Instructor:  "Did she tell you that.?"  Me: "Umm... no."  Instructor:  "You should be able to identify the emotion in the first 3 questions, and then go off that."  *siiiiigh*  Okay.  Totally didn't do that.  So I recognized her frustration... and then had no idea where to go from there.  It was another poor performance from Bree and I was a mess again. :) 

But here's the thing, people.  I do this in real life every day!!  Maybe I'm just really crappy at the way I do my job and have never noticed. :)
There are specific things we need to cover in our FINAL INTERVIEW next week.  It will take 5-10 minutes, depending on how long it takes us to cover the 5 required parts of listening, etc.  So if we get it all in and take care of business... boom. Done.  They'll stop you.  Otherwise, you might start floundering after a while and dig yourself into a big 'ol hole and still not cover all the right points.

I'm freakin' stressed out.

After my second attempt, my instructor told me I'm thinking too much; trying too hard to cover all the points. That is true.  I have a hard time being natural when I'm totally being evaluate in a fake counseling situation. :)  Our "clients" next week will be students who are 2 years into the program.  We can hope they'll be "nice" and not be some ridiculous character, but we have no idea what we'll be dealing with.

I have a headache and know I have a lot to work on.  It's helpful my roommate has her master's in mental health counseling.  I will pick her brain all week and make her practice this with me over and over again.  It's just frustrating because I've felt so good and confident throughout this whole program... until now.

One more week to go.

My interview next week is at 7:35pm.  It will last 10 minutes tops.  After that, the instructors will review my grade for my paper and presentation, and tell me whether or not I have been accepted into the program.

This approaching half-marathon doesn't phase me anymore.  Bring that on.

As for the final interview... barf.