Holiday Music Adventures

Oh how I love music.  The past week barfed all over me with musical adventures and I've been anxious to write about them.  If I had my choice, I might choose to just sit and play the piano or guitar all day.  Or just listen to music.  Or listen to other people make music.  It definitely soothes the soul.  

Music At The Club

So you all know how much I love my job.  A few weeks ago I asked a few girls if they would choreograph a routine that we could perform at our Club Christmas party.  I chose Justin Bieber's "Drummer Boy" song because it has a funky hip hop beat and I wanted to have an excuse to bust out some moves.  Now when it comes to me and dancing... I'm not really a dancer.  I have to be "in the mood"... that was always my excuse at church dances.  But deep in my heart I feel like I could be a good dancer if I really knew how to do it.  Like, I have rhythm and what not and I'm not totally incapable.  Needless to say, I had a blast with my teens and we practiced quite a bit.  As other teens would watch us, they would say things like, "Wow Bree, I didn't know you could dance!" or "Hey I like your dance, you're good!"  These comments were completely surprising but I loved having zero insecurities and just dancing for the fun of it.  You can see my previous blog post for a complete view of our little performance at the Club party.  

Last week I took a group of teens to Canyon Creek Assisted Living Center for our monthly visit with the residents.  The activity director had planned a Christmas sing-a-long and provided lyrics to many well-known songs.  I took on the leadership role and sat up front and lead everyone in all the songs.  I told them about caroling every year with my family and how it has become such a fun tradition.  I sang a few versions of our "caroling songs" and loved sharing that part of my holiday joy with them.  My teens were good sports and they had fun acting goofy and humoring me with their singing voices.  When we came to "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" I mentioned how I can play a fun jazzy piece on the piano, but there wasn't a piano in the room.  However, there was a tiny old organ and all the little old people were insistent that I play this song.  HAHA.  So turned on the organ, and even though the keyboard was missing at least 2 octaves that I use to play the song, I did my best.  The teens kind of laughed at me and I probably looked like a dork, but whatever.  Our last song was "Silent Night" and I sang a pretty descant song along with it.  Everyone else carried the melody really well and it sounded soooo good!  When it was over all of us kind of paused and said, "Wow... that was nice!"  I felt happy and proud of our little musical moment with the residents.

As we were leaving I remembered there was a grand piano in their dining room, and the residents were just going there for dinner.  I marched in there with my teens and asked if I could play a song on the piano.  They were more than happy to let me play.  I felt like I needed to redeem my jazzy piano song for the teens because that little organ didn't do it justice.  So I energetically played this song on the piano-- my favorite song to play on the piano-- and had a blast!  When I finished, a little old lady in the corner called out, "Play more!"  I didn't have any piano books with me so I made up a little version of "Silent Night" on the spot.  After that another lady requested "Away In a Manger" so I made up my own version of that as well.  It made me wish I could just sit there all day and play Christmas songs for these residents!  I actually did that when I lived in PA and loved providing that kind of entertainment for elderly people.  But alas... I didn't have time and we had to leave shortly after.  I loved it.

Music At Church

For weeks I'd been thinking about going to ward choir, but never made it to practice on Sundays.  A few weeks ago a girl in the ward approached me and asked if I could play the piano for the Christmas program.  Bingo!  I had to go now.  Each week my song load increased and luckily none of the songs were too difficult. Playing the piano is a "comfort zone" for me and I really enjoy doing it-- especially accompanying.  I wasn't always good at it though-- when I was younger my mom had to tell me to not play so loud.  She encouraged me to use the pedal and I hated it.  She tried to teach me how to accompany but I wanted to do my own thing.  I'm glad I finally learned the "right way" to accompany a choir or soloists and I'm grateful for that special talent!  I played the piano for 6 songs in the program on Sunday, and one of them was a piano solo.  I loved the opportunity to add to the spirit of the meeting and many people gave me nice compliments afterward.  I would play the piano over singing any day... but I do love both.  :)  

Music In My Car

One good thing about a 35 minute one-way commute each day is all the time I have to listen to music.  I am not a hater of Christmas music and have my radio tuned in to 100.3 or 106.5 all through December.  Non-stop Christmas favorites. :)  Let's be honest though... many of those songs are NOT my favorites, and that's when I bust out my iPod.  I have LOVED Justin Bieber's Christmas album this year, and have also listened to a Christmas mix collection I put together for Heather when she was in the hospital.  Another favorite is "Winter Song" by Sara Bareilles and Ingrid Michaelson.  Just this weekend I finally downloaded Michael Buble's Christmas album.  I feel a connection to him because his pianist is Alan Chang, who was in Jazz Band with me all through middle school and high school in California.  Can you believe it?  I know that guy.  I played the drums for that guy.  And now he shares the stage with Michael Buble.  Son of a gun.  Anyway, we can't forget the smooth and perfect voices of Josh Groban and David Archuleta.  Last year I bought one of the GLEE Christmas cd's and think it's somewhere at Heather's house after I lent it to her last year.  In conclusion, I love all forms of Christmas music and love immersing myself in it all through December... and actually several weeks of November this year too. :)

Music At The Shelter

Last year one of my Club teens was living at the homeless shelter in Midvale.  He wanted to put on a Christmas concert for the shelter residents so we practiced tons and came up with a fun line-up of duets, sing-a-longs with the guitar, and solos.  The concert was a huge success and we left feeling totally happy and uplifted.  This same teen, who no longer lives at the shelter, wanted to put on another Christmas concert and I thought it was a great idea.  I thought maybe we would do a similar show like last year, but instead he had a cd line up of 19 songs and was basically going to sing to all of them.  He included me in 2 of them.  Sheesh!  Who just cuts me out of the program like that?!  Whatever. :)  He is a HUGE Mariah Carey fan so he asked me to sing part of "All I Want For Christmas."  Just as the judges on American Idol might say... not everyone can pull off Mariah Carey.  In fact, I'm pretty sure no one should try to pull off any of her songs.  But this kid was insistent on them.  So indeed, I did sing part of that song at our concert tonight.  It was actually fun going all out and singing all sassy and poppy.  I think it turned out well.  :)  The other song he asked me to sing was "You Raise Me Up."  I got to sing a verse and chorus, and then go all out on the last 2 choruses while he did random background vocals.  Oh, it was kind of humorous but I think the song turned out well.  The things I do to support my teens!  The shelter residents seemed to like it and the staff there said we should come again in February and do a "Love Songs" concert.  Haha.  Stay tuned!

I pretty much love everything about Christmas and the music is one of my favorite things for sure.  I look forward to going to Pennsylvania for the holidays and spending hours playing the piano.  It will be therapeutic and entertaining and definitely relaxing!  Merry Christmas to everyone.  

p.s.  Do you have a favorite Christmas song??  I think mine changes every year.  But as far as old songs go, I love "Silent Night" and "The First Noel."

Justin "Breeber"... again! :)

Seriously.  The kids love it when I pull off the Justin Bieber thing.  Even when I'm just wearing normal clothes and being myself.  They call me Justin Bieber.  So it was fun to put on my "Halloween outfit" and do this little dance.  These girls love to make up dances so I insisted that we do a dance to this song.  Originally we were going to choreograph more moves for the song, but this is all we have for now.  It was a good source of entertainment at the Boys & Girls Club Christmas party.

In any case, I have a blast at work.  I love my job.  :)

Quick Life Update

1.  Heather is home from the hospital.  It's kind of a day-to-day improvement process and some days seem better than others.  But so far so good and it's such a blessing that my Mom can be here to help.  I'm glad Heather can be in her home, enjoy the cozy feeling of Christmas, and be with her family.

2.  Most of us have plane tickets to go to PA for Christmas. (Assuming Heather is feeling good enough!)  I have a potential blind date waiting for the week I'm out there so there's one more thing to look forward to.  It's been a while since my last one!

3.  I absolutely love my job.  The teens I work with are everything to me and I love being with them.  I often consider them a blessing and a great distraction from feeling lonely. :)

4.  I have 2 more weeks in my first graduate level class and I am loving it and learning tons!  So far I have survived the papers, reading, and presentations, and I'm happy about my good, solid "A" in the class.

5.  I've been sick for nearly 2 weeks so all running has come to a halt.  However, I've done some intense "CrossFit" style workouts at home with Cassity and they've kicked my butt.  However, I think it's kind of fun to feel sore.

6.  I spent my last 2 Saturdays watching some of my teens at regional cheer competitions.  Oh how the tables have turned since I was in high school.  

7.  I am currently learning a dance to Justin Bieber's "Drummer Boy" song with my teens.  I asked a few girls to choreograph a routine that we can perform at our Club holiday party this week.  I've never considered myself much of a dancer, but I'll be honest:  I've got some good moves and I think I surprised the teens. :)

8.  I still love watching football.  Currently watching the Giants vs. Cowboys and hoping the Cowboys lose.

9.  I'm unsure what to do with my hair, but it's kind of grown out a little and I think maybe I'll let it stay this way for a while.

10.  I'm playing the piano for the ward Christmas program and have actually enjoyed being useful and helpful.  Sight-reading music has always been a specialty and luckily most of the songs are pretty darn easy.  

Well... that's me in a nutshell!  Staying busy and taking life one day at a time.

p.s.  The Cowboys lost!  Yay.

My Sister Heather, aka "Job"

My older sister, Brittney, recently did a blog post about our younger sister, Heather.  Many of you might be aware of her roller coaster of health problems, and everything got really scary about a week ago.  I'd like to share Brittney's words with you...

(Picture of Heather taken last February)

Last week, Heather had surgery on her esophagus.  She hasn't been able to swallow for months, and they've diagnosed her with achalasia, a life-long condition that affects her stomach and esophagus.  She just had her sweet baby, Alexia, two months ago, but since then her health has steadily deteriorated.  She was really hoping that the surgery last week would solve her problems, but instead, it's brought on more than we ever thought she'd have to endure!  Thursday night, after a depressing Thanksgiving "dinner" of turkey and sweet potato baby food, Heather began to experience pain in her throat and chest, severe bloating, and nausea.  She threw up sometime in the middle of the night, which is something the doctors really didn't want to have happen just in case it aggravated the surgery site.  Jake took Heather to the emergency room, against Heather's wishes, but it was a blessing that he insisted because upon doing x-rays they discovered a hole in her esophagus.  That meant that air and liquids had been leaking out, hence the pain and bloating.  They immediately admitted her to the hospital and called in her surgeon, who assembled a team and performed another surgery to put a stint in to cover the hole and allow it to heal and stop the leaking.  The surgery took longer than anticipated, and then afterwards she didn't come out of the anesthesia as quickly as they'd hoped either.  Her oxygen levels were too low as well.  After waiting several hours to see if she'd come to, they admitted her to the ICU.  Dad (who'd arrived Thanksgiving day to spend a few days out here) and Bree were there with Jake and his dad and they gave her a blessing, but they were alarmed at how depleted she looked.  Heather had told Jake before the surgery that she didn't feel strong enough to undergo another one, but she didn't have much of a choice...

The next day, Dad, Bree and I had planned to go up to my cousin's wedding luncheon in Logan and then stop by the hospital to see Heather on our way home.  That morning, Dad called to say that we wouldn't be going up to the wedding as planned.  When I asked what was wrong, he said that Heather wasn't doing well.  He said she was "unresponsive" and that Jake thought she was giving up.  I asked him what that meant, not wanting to believe what I was hearing.  It was more than I could comprehend!  My dad was too emotional to say much else, but he said her heart was racing, her blood pressure was too low, her kidneys didn't seem to be working, and she'd developed a high fever in the night.  I said a quick prayer with David, picked up Bree and Nathan, and we headed up to the hospital in tears, expecting the worst.  THANKFULLY, we received a text from Jake on our way up telling us that she'd stabilized and that she was alert and talking.  When we arrived, she still had a fever, but it wasn't nearly as high as it had been in the night.  Her kidneys had kicked into gear, and her pulse was higher than normal and her blood pressure was still low, but both had improved significantly.  She was still on oxygen, but she greeted us and chatted for a bit when we went in to see her.  We tried our best to sound optimistic so as not to scare her with us all being there all of a sudden.  She looked pretty beat, but Bree said she looked a lot better than she had the night before.  It was a miraculous turn-around!

We stayed there throughout the day and she continued to get better.  Before long she was able to get up and walk a couple laps around the ICU, and she spent the majority of the afternoon sitting in the recliner in her room.  We left at one point to print out some pictures of Cami and Lexi to put up in her room and to get her a book and some chapstick.  She's not able to eat or drink anything, even ice chips, so her mouth stays terribly dry. In the evening they gave her a picc line so she could get liquid nutrients directly to her heart.  It's certainly not as good as a real meal, but we're glad she's finally getting much-needed nutrients!  She's lost SO much weight lately!  So throughout the day we went back and forth between the waiting room and her room in the ICU.  Around 9:00 my mom arrived!  She hated being so far away and not being able to be with Heather, so she booked a same-day flight and made it possible for our whole immediate family to be together for a couple hours.  We sat around her little room and talked and things almost seemed a little normal (if you could ignore the many tubes coming out of poor Heather and the machines and blinking lights).  Nathan gave a beautiful prayer before we had to leave to come home.  

The next morning, her stats had improved quite a bit.  They were able to take her off blood pressure medicine, and eventually her oxygen.  Today they moved her from the ICU to a regular room, but they still think she'll be in the hospital for at least another week.  We're all waiting to hear the results of a test they did today to see if her esophagus is still leaking.  If it's not, they'll leave the stint in for a couple months and she'll be able to go home and at least enjoy a soft or regular liquid diet.  If it's still leaking, we're not sure what the next step will be. 

I'm just so incredibly grateful that she's still with us and making progress!  Saturday morning was one of the scariest mornings I've ever experienced, and I believe it really could have gone either way.  The faith and prayers of many people took effect though, and Heather fought through enough to make it past that crucial hurdle in her recovery.  I know she's strong enough to keep fighting, and she has SO much to fight for!  Her sweet daughters have been able to visit her a couple times now, and they alone give her so much reason to live.  And her sweet Jake who's hardly left her side.  It certainly turned into a real weekend of thanksgiving for all of us, and now we just pray that she'll continue to be strengthened and blessed!

* * *

It has been about a week since Brittney's post, and Heather is still hanging out in the hospital.  Her room would probably win some kind of award for "most decorative" or "best holiday scent" or "most visitors per day".  She has been flooded with flowers, cards, pictures, visitors, Facebook shout-outs, text messages, and phone calls.  Granted, her Birthday was this this week, but that just made it even more fun and festive.  When I say fun I mean "fun"... because really, how much "fun" can a hospital be?  

In any case, Heather is a champ and is trying her hardest to stay optimistic and not get down on herself. It has been amazing to see how much healthier she looks, thanks to the IV bag of "food" she gets to have every day. She still hasn't been able to drink or eat a single thing in over a week now.  Can you believe that?!  It doesn't seem humanly possible.  However, on her birthday, the doctor let her drink 1 oz of grape juice.  That was a huge treat for her. :)  So whatever is going through those IV's is keeping her alive for now.  She will be in the hospital for at least another couple of days until more tests can confirm whether or not the hole in her esophagus has healed and closed.  Hopefully she will be able to come home next week.  And then it will still be a long recovery from there.

We love Heather!  I love my "Schmeether."  I have driven to downtown Salt Lake City to visit her in the hospital more than I've driven to SLC in the past year or so.  I'm not a Salt Lake City gal, so this has pushed me out of my bubble. :)  But of course she is worth it and I just want her to be happy and feel good again. 

Many tears have been shed.  Many prayers have been said.  It's amazing to see how many people have offered their love, help, and prayers, and I know Heather really appreciates it.  I have always had a special place for her in my heart and look forward to the day when she can laugh freely and truly be "Heather" again.  

November Gratefuls

In November I kept an on-going draft e-mail in my gmail account with my daily list of "gratefuls."  I liked being able to access it from any computer and add to it as life gave me reasons to be grateful.  Now that November is over I wanted to post my responses; it's interesting how you can kind of follow the month's events through the things that I wrote about.  Yay for Thanksgiving and grateful thoughts!

Nov 1-- I'm grateful for old home videos... and video or picture slideshows with music.  They trigger so much emotion and bring back wonderful memories. :)  (thoughts inspired by watching Heather & Jake's wedding DVD)   :)

Nov 2-- I'm so grateful that I passed the Graduate Portfolio assessment class!  Tonight I did my final interview and got some awesome feedback from the instructors.  I'm grateful for compliments and assurance that I'm doing a good job!  It's exciting. :)  I'm grateful for hope in the future.

Nov 3-- I'm grateful for my ability to talk to people of all ages-- children, teens (difficult and friendly), and adults (fun Marchele or others in the stake).  It's a blessing to be able to connect on different levels and develop good friendships.

Nov 4-- I'm grateful for a job that I love!  So many people are struggling to find work and be able to pay bills and take care of themselves and their families.  Not only do I have a good and stable job, it is something I truly enjoy.  I adore the teens I work with and am blessed to have great staff members helping me.

Nov. 5-- I'm grateful for family that lives so close. I got to take Matty & Bryan on a date and we had so much fun.  Later on I watched a movie with Britt.  My life would be empty without my family!

Nov. 6-- I'm grateful for the Sabbath!  It's such a special day and I really love feeling the spirit.  Whether it's at church, or later in the day reflecting on things I've learned or felt... I know I need the sabbath every week.  I love the gospel; I love friends who also love the gospel.  I spent the afternoon at the Randall's home and really enjoyed the spirit and love in their home. I love Sundays!

Nov. 7-- I'm grateful for laughter.  Real laughter... the kind where tears are in your eyes and you just feel good afterward.  :)

Nov. 8-- I'm grateful for freedom  to live however I want and to choose what kind of life I will have.  Reading "Anne Frank: the Diary of a Young Girl" has really opened up my eyes to so many simple blessings of just being FREE to live.

Nov. 9-- I'm grateful for music.  Playing the guitar and sang at Canyon Creek Assisted Living Center today with my teens... it was precious, and the residents loved it.

Nov. 10-- I'm grateful for my "Justin Bieber" hair because I think it really breaks down barriers for kids and they want to get to know me! 

Nov. 11-- I'm grateful for "Mystery Boy"... the staff guy at work I have a distant crush on.  It keeps me feeling emotion and appreciating the opportunity to be a "lady."

Nov. 12-- I'm grateful for the temple.  It provides peace and a break from the craziness of everyday life.

Nov. 13-- My first initial thought was, "I'm grateful for football."  I really love it!  Watching it is so entertaining and relaxing for me.  But then my spiritual side took over and would also like to chime in that I'm grateful for the Church; for visiting teaching; for lessons; for the scriptures; for the opportunity to feel the Spirit and learn every day!

Nov. 14-- I am grateful for roommates.  I was home alone the past week and it was so quiet, lifeless, and difficult taking care of a crazy little dog.  It's good to have my roommate back in town. :)

Nov. 15-- I am grateful for last-minute inspiration to write a 6 page paper!  I was so stressed over this and I'm glad somehow it all came together in the nick of time.

Nov. 16--  I am grateful for learning!  I really love my school counseling program and it's amazing to feel that I'm really LEARNING and soaking in new knowledge.  It's a great feeling.

Nov. 17--  I'm grateful for my health!  A good run in the morning really makes the rest of the day so much better!

Nov. 18-- I'm grateful for my secret crush.  It keeps life exciting and fun.  Even if it is impossible. :)

Nov. 19-- I'm grateful for the opportunity to see "Aida" at Hillcrest high school.  It was the most amazing musical production I've ever seen!  Totally impressed and emotionally touched.

Nov. 20-- I'm grateful to be able to live so close to my Grandma.  I see her at least once a week and have realized what a blessing it is to spend time with her.  I know she won't live forever and sincerely want to soak in all the "Grandma time" I have. :)

Nov. 21-- I'm grateful for meaningful conversations.  I met with my "Learning Team" for class tonight (2 ladies that are amazing) and we were deep in conversation for hours.  Although we were talking about school related things, gospel topics were mentioned frequently and I felt the Spirit at times.  I'm grateful for meaningful insights and new ideas.

Nov. 22-- I'm grateful for work days that fly by because I'm having so much fun and really enjoying my time with the teens.

Nov. 23-- I'm grateful I survived all my school work and class responsibilities this week!

Nov. 24-- I'm grateful for my peaceful and totally enjoyable Thanksgiving run around BYU campus.

Nov. 25-- I'm grateful for the Priesthood.  Heather is in the hospital again and had to go back into surgery.  I'm so glad my dad and Jake's family were there to give blessings and share the power that they hold.  I truly have faith that the Lord works through His servants on earth.

Nov. 26-- I am grateful that Heather is alive!  She is doing much better and it's a relief to know her health is improving little by little.

Nov. 27-- I am grateful for competent doctors and nurses.  Heather has been in good hands and I've enjoyed interacting with the different nurses that come in to help her.  

Nov. 28-- I am grateful for Christmas music... especially Justin Bieber's "Under the Mistletoe" album. :)

Nov. 29-- I am grateful for Heather's "milk bag" IV full of nutrients.  She is looking so much better.

Nov. 30-- I am grateful for my dog.  She's such a good little companion! 

*Sigh*  November was kind of a crazy whirlwind month... I welcome December with open arms. :)

Losing My Mind

I had to laugh at myself when 3 things happened tonight that made me seem like a complete idiot.  And they happened all within 1 hour, so by the time I got home, I thought, "Wow... I'm a mess!"   So here's where it starts:

Scenario #1

I was driving home from a long day (maybe that's why my mind was gone) and decided to stop at Wendy's around 10:30pm.  I went through the drive-thru and when I pulled up to the window, one of my teens from the Club was working one of the registers inside.  She cheerfully said, "Hey Bree!"  It caught me off guard but I greeted her warmly and was thinking, "I'm so happy some of these teens actually get jobs. Another lady handed me my bag of food and this teen girl gave me my Frosty.  I kept talking to her as more Frosty's appeared on the counter at the window.  Other workers kept looking out at me.  It was like an awkward, lingering conversation and I couldn't figure out why.  I asked her how late she had to work, "ahh, that's not too bad" blah blah blah and asked how she'd been doing.  All the while, I was waiting for my food-- which was sitting in my passenger seat and totally spaced it.  Finally the teen girl mutters to the other lady in Spanish, "Did you give her the food?" and I suddenly looked over and saw it there in my car.  IDIOT!  So I was like, "Oh yeah! I have it!  Uh, thanks, bye" and drove away fast because I was totally embarrassed.

Scenario #2

Before I got home I stopped at Target to get ingredients for my "assignment" for Thanksgiving dinner.  It must've been close to 11pm when I walked in.  I was chatting away on my phone and wandered up and down the aisles as I gradually loaded my arms with cans of vegetables, soup, etc.  I later found myself in the pet aisle and I browsed the different doggy treats and chewy bones to give to Sadie.  I went back to the original aisles and made sure I had all my ingredients... debated getting special treats and decided not to... grabbed some bananas instead... and finally made my way over to the registers.  There were a few cop guys helping store workers set up barricades in the aisles and what not.  I thought, "Hmm... that seems a little early to be doing that."  As I walked past the registers I didn't see any of the lights on and felt rather frustrated that not a single register was open!  Suddenly I turned to an employee lady and asked, "Are you closed?!"  Yep, they were.  And here I was standing with my arms completely full... the only customer in the store.  How did I miss that?  How did I just saunter in like I owned the place?  Luckily there was a super nice girl that jumped on a register and rang up my items.  I glanced at my watch.  11:20pm.  Target closes at 11:00pm!  HILARIOUS.  I couldn't believe it.  So I chuckled to myself as I walked out to my car.  Wow Bree, 2 for 2!

Scenario #3

Finally I was actually driving home, just a few blocks away.  I stopped at a red light, looked both ways, and rolled forward and drove right through the intersection.  Only I caught myself and realized I'd just run a red light when I was about half-way through.  The best part about this one is Cassity totally did the same thing a week ago!!  I was riding in the car with her and she treated a red light like a stop sign.  As she pulled forward through the intersection I was like, "RED LIGHT!"  But it was too late.  We laughed.  Only tonight it was just me.  And I did it.  And I laughed and thought, "Wow... that was a ridiculous series of events on my way home tonight."  I'll blame it on my lack of sleep and an overload of stress this week.

I'm very grateful for a 4 day weekend! :)

"Planking" Pictures

In the past month or so I've noticed a growing "fad" that is pretty much the dumbest thing ever.  It is called "planking."  Click HERE for an explanation of what it is and why people do it.


But here's the thing:  I totally love it.  It makes me laugh out loud.  I've  had some friends post "plank pics" on Facebook and even saw Justin Bieber plank pics a while back. Haha.  It's just so random but you'd be surprised at how fun it is.


I took a group of teens to explore BYU campus today. We had a blast and kept ourselves totally entertained.  We visited the Bean science museum, art museum, dorms, and other various buildings on campus.  One of my teens decided to do a plank pic laying on the floor of the art museum.  I was like, "Pssst!  Get up!"  I didn't want the security guards to think we were too rowdy.  But it was super funny seeing this girl lying face down on the floor so her friend could take a picture.


It was the beginning of a long day of planking. Here are a few examples.

That last statue one made me nervous (even though I told her to do it) because there were landscape workers nearby-- they kept eyeing us and I didn't want to get in trouble.  But at least now you have an idea of how their creative minds were working all day.  :)


Maybe I'm just totally immature-- well, that is already probably true-- but a good planking pic does make me chuckle.  May we all plank merrily through the holiday season and capture those perfect planking moments.

Knowledge is Power

I love this quote.

I've been wanting to write about my experience with learning and being in school again, and this explains it perfectly.  Just in the past week, it's as if I can physically feel my mind expanding, and I can acknowledge that I am really learning and absorbing new ideas.  It's amazing and exciting!  I have never considered myself intelligent, smart, or educated.  Even though I had a bachelor's degree, I felt like I was kind of a joke when it came to "smart people" things.  But guess what world... I am slowly escaping that self-inflicted restriction and realizing that my mind is capable of embracing and understanding a lot of things.  Sometimes it's like my head is swirling with information as I try to process or make sense of it.  And once it all fits and I understand, I feel happy and accomplished!  

I feel confident in my class and don't shy away at responding to questions or offering my opinions.  In the past, I haven't been a very opinionated person, completely agreeable in so many areas.  But in this class especially (multicultural issues and diversity), I have to explore my own biases and views and take a stand on several issues.  It's good for me to think deeply about sensitive topics and evaluate how I really feel.  Granted, it's still hard some times and I know my views might change over time... but I love learning and applying the teachings to my little growing brain.

I never thought I would want to get a master's degree; I never thought I'd want to go back to school nearly 10 years after graduating the first time.  I never thought I'd really feel smart.  I'm glad I'm proving myself wrong.  

The Best Person Ever

I found this in my desk today:

I will totally keep this forever.  :)

My Life: Then & Now

(All photos presented are not my own, but random photos in google images.)

This was my dream car when I was a kid.

A yellow Geo Storm. I was such a stud.

This was my first car.

'89 Toyota Tercel

We had it in California and then it traveled up to Utah to serve as Brittney's car while she was at BYU.  It was a stick-shift.  I loved it.

Meanwhile, my family moved to Pennsylvania and I got to drive this:

 '91 Oldsmobile Cutlas Cruiser

Seriously, nothing about this wood-paneled station wagon should be related to the word "cruiser"... but whatever.It got the job done. I still remember the smell of it. Makes me think of long family roadtrips and feeling car-sick.  You better believe I sat facing backwards in the very back seat, too! Not while driving, of course. :)

I was 16 yrs old when I got in a scary car accident, spun across 3 lanes and crashed into a fire hydrant.  Needless to say... that was the end of my "cruising" days.  My dad kept the wood-paneled door frame with the hole in it-- I guess as a souvenir-- and it's hanging in our garage.

My dad thinks I crashed the car on purpose so I wouldn't have to drive it anymore.  Not true.

But I did get to drive my dad's '86 Ford Ranger for a while.

It even had a bed cover like that.  Looks cool but it's a pain if you actually need to put things in the back.  It was a stick-shift and fun to drive-- especially on all the winding country roads and rolling hills.

Finally it was my turn to go to BYU and drive the Tercel again.

Good memories & lots of fun.  I called it Petey.  I graduated from BYU and had to move back to PA after getting sick.  I had arthritis in my hands and wrists and couldn't drive the truck because of the stick shift.  

So my dad had this car waiting for me when I got home:

'87 Toyota Corolla.  $900

But mine was a dark forest green-- almost black-- with a flat/matte finish.  I drove it for a few months and it was perfect while my arthritis faded away.  I called it the Green Pea.

My sisters were in a car accident over Thanksgiving break in Utah.  Petey was totaled.  No more Tercel college car.

Sometimes I drove my dad's '86 Toyota Supra for fun.

After about a year of working full-time after college, I was ready to buy my own car.  The Green Pea wasn't going to last much longer.

I quickly became obsessed with the '03 Toyota Matrix.

On my lunch breaks I would drive to the Toyota car dealership and drive up and down the rows of cars, peek in the windows of the Matrix and just drool over everything about it.  I loved the shape, the color, the rear lights, the interior, the back seats that folded down into a flat bed, the front... EVERYTHING.  I test drove a few cars but once I drove the Matrix it was all over.  I was in love.

So I bought it (probably shouldn't have but I was too obsessed) and loved that car with all my heart.  I took our dog, Phoebe, with me everywhere and this car was more than just a car.  I named it Max.  

*sigh*

Then I decided to serve a full-time mission and had to sell my dream car.  Luckily a family friend bought it so Max was still nearby while I was on my mission.  My parents would give me updates on "Max sightings" and let me know that he was doing okay.  I missed him.

Before my mission, my dad bought this car from my friend:

2001 VW Jetta.  So when I got back from my mission and this car was hanging out in the driveway... it made sense that I should be its new owner.  (Even though I really wanted Max back, I knew it wasn't financially possible, so I just dealt with it).  My mom was driving the Jetta (named "Alfie" by previous owner) and she really liked it.  But I made a business transaction with my dad and bought it like a real grown-up.  I drove Alfie out to Utah 2 months after coming home from my mission, and that brings us to the present.

Alfie is a good car and has done a great job making the 35 minute one-way commute every day.  He's small and easy to handle.  I usually drive with my knees and sit very comfortably. :)  

But I will admit that I miss Max like crazy and would give up Alfie in a second if I had a chance to trade for a Matrix again.  However, I'm trying to just be content and happy with my current situation.

Lately I've become a little obsessed with the Honda CR-V.

I just really love the look of it.  Similar to the Matrix but more of a small "SUV" type of car.  I can't afford it.. I haven't even looked up any info on it because I know I won't buy it.  I just get excited when I see one on the road.  I get even more excited when I see a Matrix.

But for now, it's me and Alfie and we're doing just fine. :)

Happy Thought

"While in the pursuit of happiness, 

one should stop, and just be happy..."

(Amen!)

My Social Life

I realized something today.  The time I spend with teens at the Boys & Girls Club totally fulfills my social life.  Is that weird?  Maybe a little.  But here's the thing.  I come alive at the Club.  I get to be whoever I want to be-- ultimately ME-- and be accepted by everyone.  I've gotten to know a lot of teens over the past 2 1/2 years:  I have a good rapport with the rowdy boys who try to test me with inappropriate jokes or "almost" swearing-- they know I won't put up with their crap;  I get along well with the happy-go-lucky teens who don't necessarily need me but know that I'm there; I adore the teens who come into my office daily and stay there to talk and tell me about their day;  Currently I connect well with our 15+ homeless teens who have really crappy circumstances.  I talk to them like they're any other kid, reach out to them to show my compassion, and make sure I'm a positive adult in their lives;  I match my sassiness with the sassy girls who create drama and wear way too much perfume-- but I'm kind and don't hold it against them and still offer a smile and a friendly greeting;  I can be friends with the "popular" teens and talk to them about their busy lives and reflect on how intimidated I would've been 15 years ago;  I fit in with the cocky athletic kids who think they're the bomb and hold their heads high;  I even manage to befriend the annoying smelly teens who really drive me crazy, but who probably need me more than anyone else.  I'm surrounded by so many random personalities, backgrounds, and behaviors, and I'm blessed to have so many friends at the Club.

I do call them my friends.  I know there is a distinct line between "authority" and "friendship" and I respect and abide by that.  I also know it is possible to create meaningful relationships with many of these teens I see daily, and we become equally important in one another's lives.

So here is where my epiphany came from:
All the teens were buzzing about "free admission" night at Classic Skate for all the middle school students.  Not that I'd really want to go hang out at a skating rink with 7th-9th graders, but I could totally be content just hanging out with teens from the Club.  I enjoy their personalities.  They make me laugh hard every day.  We talk about real things.  And they make me feel like I'm actually cool, funny, and pretty.  :)

That's when it clicked-- these teens are my social life, as pathetic as that may be.  I have 4-5 hours every day to talk, laugh, and play with a variety of people in small or large groups.  I get to talk to whoever I want.  I get to wear whatever I want and still be accepted.  I get to bust out a random dance move walking through a door way and not feel stupid.  I get to teach and feel knowledgeable.  I get to share my own passions and have people listen.  Seriously, it's the best little social circle ever.

And that's why I'm totally content coming home on a Friday night with absolutely NO plans.  My "non-work" life mostly consists of spending time with my family or Cassity, my one and only roommate.  After such energetic and exhausting days at the Club... it's kind of nice to just come home and literally do nothing.  Or write a blog post.  Or just sit in my jammy pants and feel totally content.  If there's some dance going on down the street, I don't know about it.  If there's a hoppin' party at someone's house nearby... yeah, I didn't hear about it.  I'm kind of in my own little hermit-land, yet I love to be around people.  My social life has just kind of flip-flopped for the time being.

I'm grateful I have Cassity and appreciate the random adventures we go on.  I know it would probably be different if there were  2 or 3 others who lived with us.  We'd have people over more often and maybe even a few random boys would cross our paths every now and then.  But a 2 bedroom condo gives room enough for 2, and a little dog, and we have our happy quiet life.

Social butterflies by day... hermits by night.

So I thought to myself today:  Crap, I really am never going to get married.  Since I certainly won't be marrying anyone from the Boys & Girls Club.... my dating options are super limited.

I'm just kind of banking on those good 'ol set-ups that come through every now and then.

At the moment... my dating status is absolutely dead.

But I will say this:  I love my teens so much and really do have a blast with them.  Today a girl told me she wants me to be her counselor instead of the old lady counselor at her school.  (haha)  So we had a few fun "counseling" sessions here and there.  I helped another girl find her shoe that a hyper boy hid in the pool table;  I recruited girls for my "all girl" dodge ball team and called us the "Soul Surfers"-- we lost all our games and were the first ones eliminated from the tournament.  Oh well!  I gave out 10 otter pops and 5 McDonald's smoothies for recognition awards to awesome teens.  I threw chocolate milk cartons across the gym to kids who wanted a second one.  I accidentally missed and hit some little kid at a table.  I talked to a girl about why she's the bomb and why we've nominated her to be one of our "Youth of the Year" candidates.  I half-jokingly tried to put my fav teen's hair in a ponytail, all the while admitting that I'm terrible at doing hair and embarrassed for my own kids' hair one day.  I laughed with teens as they showed me funny videos on their cell phones they'd taken at the Club.  I ate a purple pancake teens created in the kitchen. I got to talk to a Mom and proudly announced that her daughter was chosen as our Youth of the Month.

That's just a sneak peak at what a normal day at the Club is like for me.  Social life fulfilled?  Yes.

I'll keep you posted on the whole getting married thing.

Week 6-- *I PASSED!*

Best quote of the night: "We decided that even if you came in here and bombed this tonight, we still would have passed you."

I feel so good right now! I PASSED!  Holy crap, I was so nervous all day long.  Mostly because of how rocky class went for me last week.  But for real!  I passed!  And it gets better...

My instructor told me that my paper (from a few weeks ago) was at the top of the class, and another instructor said my oral presentation was their favorite.  They said I have the greatest foundation and experience coming into the program and they know I'm going to be a good counselor.  *Relief!*
They were so nice and complimentary.  They told me I'm a natural leader and look forward to having me in their classes. One said he looks forward to having me as a colleague in the future.  Awesome.

I even told my instructor how much she rocked me last week and my confidence was totally shaken.  She began to apologize, but I quickly thanked her for being tough on me because it caused me to practice tons throughout the week, study, and really learn what I had been over-looking from before.  I also asked if I could give her a hug before I left. Haha.

And to close with one more lovely quote, when I walked into the room (I was the last person to go tonight), one of the instructors said, "I think we saved the best for last."  I felt much better after that. :)

School counseling master's program-- the real deal-- here I come.

Thank you for believing in me.

Nervous...

Not so much scared.

More like nervous.

But I like this picture because that's how I feel.

Tonight is that dreaded class where I have to do my mock counseling session with 3 observers watching me.  After my confidence-shaking class last week, I feel SUPER nervous and inadequate. My stomach is doing flips and I feel sick.

After the 5-10 min. interview, they will stop me, review my grades for my paper and oral presentation a few weeks ago, and tell me if I passed or failed this assessment class.  Barf.  I'm so nervous.

I wish I could just sail right through and feel solid.

I feel shaky and unsure of anything at this point.

Trying to keep my chin up and make it through the day!

My interview is at 7:35pm.

I'll give a report after I'm done. :)

Surprise Costume

Tonight I had plans to go to my Grandma's house with Cassity to play our usual game of "Hand & Foot" and eat treats and candy. Cassity told me she wasn't going to dress up, but I was going to wear my Superman costume anyway.  Little did I know, Cassity secretly had other plans!

I got home from work and this is what I found:

I totally laughed and couldn't believe how very ME-like she was!  Bandanna & Tie-Dye shirt... seriously, that's all you need to mock my running attire.  (See previous post for proof).  She had even splashed her face several times with water to try to capture the "sweat" that usually lingers on my skin for awhile after I run.

I was totally impressed!

So we went over to my Grandma's house in style and had a fun evening of playing cards and eating way too much.  As if mini candy bars weren't enough, my grandma also insisted on feeding us her homemade soup concoction (actually quite tasty) and pudding cake with whipped cream.  

(She was proud of her recent flower arrangement from one of her classes).  :)

Even though my Grandma only got 2 trick-or-treaters all night long, we had a good Halloween and I enjoyed another excuse to wear a fun costume.  And I was definitely proud of Cassity for her creativity and STYLE. :)

Halloween Half Marathon (Provo, UT)

Key Words/Phrases to Look for in this Post

Phone Call

Port-a-Potty

Three Musketeers

Friends

Good Charlotte

9

Miley Cyrus

12

I stressed over running this half marathon for the past several weeks.  I didn't feel physically prepared and I worried most about my bowels and pre-race jitters.  Well I'm happy to report that everything went well and it was a fantastic experience!

The day before the race I drank TONS of water, had a couple Gatorades, and went to the bathroom like crazy.  I ate oatmeal w/ bananas, 2 apples, one little piece of celery, even had a slice of pizza (oops), a big frosted sugar cookie (double oops), and later on some tasty macaroni & cheese from Noodles & Co.

I got a surprise phone call from Rebecca Miller that evening before the race.  She is a long time friend of the family and I had recently read her blog post about running a marathon a few weeks ago.  She is super-human and inspiring in all her accomplishments.  So when she randomly called me to wish me luck on my race and give me a few tips, I was all for it!  I picked her brain and asked her all kinds of questions.  The best advice she gave me was on how to pace myself and go out with a plan.  She explained how I needed to hold back in the beginning, push harder after the first couple of miles, then slow it down later on, and go strong in the end.  It was kind of comforting to have her "approval" to go slower than normal during the race.

I had a fun "Girls Night" with Cassity and Bekah, and it was a great way to calm my nerves and just relax.  I grilled them for their opinions on what I should wear-- which gloves & bandanna looked best with my tie-dye shirt. I know, I'm ridiculous, but I kind of care about my color coordination.  No, I didn't go all out with a cool costume.  I spent that energy on Justin Bieber for work.  And I sure didn't want to run 13.1 miles in skinny jeans, so I decided I'd just be me and stay comfy.  Tie-dye shirt and a bandanna.  Some people might have thought I was trying to be a hippie or something.  Nope, I usually run in bright colors anyway.  Ha!  Fooled them. :)

After a quick night of 4 hours of sleep, I woke up at 5am, showered, and got dressed in my race attire.  I had to go to the parking lot at the University Mall (luckily less than 1 minute away) and hop on a bus to ride up the canyon.  The timing was perfect; I got there at 5:45am, walked right onto a bus and we left just a few minutes later.  It was a huge caravan of charter buses from Orem up to Aspen Grove, and let's just say those canyon roads are pretty narrow and not necessarily good for buses traveling in both directions.  So for a while it was a little chaotic, trying to get everyone situated.  It was dark and cold and seemed like no one really knew where to go or what to do.  Finally we unloaded and trekked off to the giant, heated tents set up on the grassy field at Aspen.Grove.  I knew my first stop would be at the port-a-potties, then I found a corner of the tent to sit in while people filed in.

I was by myself, which felt kind of lame because I knew quite a few people who were also running it  I just didn't come with any of them.  Bekah was supposed to run it with me but started having hip problems in the last few weeks, so that was a bummer.  So I sat there and watched people mingle with excitement-- some with crazy, fun costumes, or bundled up in warm blankets.  Luckily I brought a hoodie and warm pants to wear over my running clothes, but I was still soooo cold and it was kind of miserable.  Finally I saw a friend of mine who was also sitting alone.  I got up and joined her and was happy to have someone talk to. The race started at 9am and it we still had 1 1/2 hours of waiting.  Boo. I was surrounded by creative costumes and felt kind of like a bum sitting there in my sweatshirt.  Oh well.  My biggest concern was staying warm.

Gradually, my toes became cold and numb and I was just chilled to the bone!  It was about 8:30am so I decided to make another run to the Port-a-Potty. Luckily, the sun was out and it felt like maybe it would warm up a little.  But the lines were long and I stood there for 30 minutes waiting-- all the while my toes were getting more and more frozen and numb.  The faster runners were starting at 9am, and they were starting the others at 9:20am.  I was definitely starting in the second group so still had plenty of time.  I decided I should take off my shoes before the race and rub my feet and toes to get the blood flowing.  But before that I got back in line for the port-a-potties to make sure I was all clear. :)

Turns out I was the LAST person to come out of the port-a-potties!  I stepped out and the field and tents were deserted.  Everyone was at the starting line, and right then I heard over the megaphone:  "We'll be starting in 3 minutes."  Yikes! I still had to tie my shoes, take off my warm layers, get my iPod ready, and throw my bag in the big semi-truck.  Not to mention it was a good distance to walk from where I was to the starting line.  Last minute panic!  So I jogged to the semi-truck, stripped off my clothes, grabbed my iPod, and tied my shoes tighter.  No time for a quick foot rub. Crap.  I hadn't even really stretched much, other than what I did while I was waiting in line.  Not a great way to start a half marathon.  I got situated just in time for the big crowd to start moving forward.  Here goes nothin'!

The first 5 miles were all downhill, from Aspen Grove, past Sundance resort, to the main road through Provo Canyon.  I didn't want to go too fast because it would burn out my quads and kill my knees.  I kept a pretty steady pace of 10 min. miles.  Even though Rebecca had advised me to try to run most of it at a 9:30 mile pace, I couldn't quite push it.  I figured just as long as I didn't slow down, I was doing okay.

I also realized that I didn't have any kind of treat to give me a sugar boost during the race.  Last year my doctor mentioned eating a few Pez, which I did, and I think it worked out just fine.  But this year I had nothing and hoped that the little cups of gatorade at the marked stops along the way would help me out.  I've never been one to eat the "chews" or "gu's" or anything like that, but I knew I'd probably need something. Luckily I was running behind this big dude in a Greenbay football jersey.  He was wearing a big fanny pack and suddenly candy started falling out. I ran past the first few pieces, then finally stopped to grab one.  A tiny 3 Musketeers.  Jackpot! Haha.  It was like this guy was a pinata or something.  There were tootsie rolls and other mini candy bars, but I was content with my tiny square.  So I kept that little silver-wrapped candy in my closed fist and decided I'd eat it when I felt like I needed a treat. I dropped it once and even ran back a few steps to retrieve it-- I was going to hang on to that thing like it was the last morsel of food in the world. :)

Despite a ridiculous side cramp that came about in the first couple of miles, I pushed through it and was feeling pretty good.  The downhill portion wasn't as bad as I'd anticipated and my legs weren't dead yet.  Around mile 5 we were running on the main canyon road.  Traffic was backed up since they'd closed the road off in favor of the runners crossing, and it was fun to have all these spectators looking on.  Finally we got to Vivian Park and Cassity and Bekah were there waiting to cheer me on!  It was so fun to have supportive friends to keep me happy and motivated.  They waited at 2 other points along the course and it was always a good "pick-me-up" to keep me going.  :)

I didn't have any rules against walking intervals but didn't want to walk more than I needed to.  Rebecca had advised me to walk at the water stops and take small steps, but not walk too long.  So I would stop and walk for maybe 15-20 seconds and force myself to run again.  At around mile 7 my feet really started aching.  Like, real intense pain.  And my knees were killing me.  All I wanted to do was stop.  I wasn't giving up... I just wanted to walk.  But then a certain song came on my iPod:  "Hold On" by Good Charlotte.  This was a song I put on my playlist in honor of Heather and all the health issues she's been dealing with.  I knew if I thought of her it would motivate me to keep going.  So of course this song came on and I thought, "Dang it... I have to keep running, I can't stop now!"  It was a pivotal moment and kept me going.  I had several songs on my playlist that I chose for specific people who have inspired me, or who can't run for themselves right now.  It was a good way for me to stay emotionally invested in my goal.

Finally I made it past the Mile 9 marker and felt a sense of relief:  Only 4 miles to go.  Even though I was in pain and didn't have loads of energy to try to run faster, I just kept going.  It was a weird point in the race because I somehow missed the Mile 10 and Mile 11 markers.  I was confused and this stretch of the course seemed to go on forever.  Did the race coordinators purposely leave these out to keep us guessing, or to trick us into suddenly finishing before we realized we'd gone that far?  As I was thinking about these mystery mile markers, another pivotal song came on.  "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus.  I'd never run to this song before, but I've always liked it and I appreciate the positive message it shares.  This was a song I added for a friend who couldn't complete all the marathons she'd planned on this year because of knee problems.  This song also reminds me of one of my favorite teens at the Boys & Girls Club-- she used to be obsessed with Miley Cyrus. :)  So here I am, lost between miles 9, 10, and 11, and "The Climb" helped me rise to a new level.  No pun intended.  It was a great moment!  I actually loved running to that song-- it was a good pace for me and I felt happy.

A few minutes later I saw the best surprise up ahead:  MILE 12 MARKER.  What?!  1 mile to go!  I looked at my watch and it read 2:07:00.  I was so surprised!  My goal was to beat 2:30:00, and I was going to make it in before 2:20:00!  A huge accomplishment.  I suddenly had all sorts of energy and ran faster and it felt good to pass a bunch of people on that last stretch.  I decided to hold back a little for a few  minutes so I didn't burn it all out, then pushed it hard for the last few minutes.  The finish line was near the Riverwoods off a side rode along the Provo River Trail.  I'd never been to the park before and didn't know exactly where the final "end" was located, but I just kept running.  The path was lined with spectators and it was like moving through a cattle shoot made of humans.  I was kind of stuck behind a group of people dressed up as jailbirds, and at the last minute I broke through, ran ahead, and crossed the finish line solo.  Yay!  It felt so good.

Cassity and Bekah were right there and I was relieved I didn't have to go looking for them. I grabbed a water bottle, a finisher medal, orange and apple slices, and moved my way through the big crowd to greet them.  I felt good, physically, and was so happy about my time!  2:18:30... 18 minutes faster than my first half marathon last year.  Good job me!

So now I feel a huge weight lifted off me.  I stress myself out with these races.  I'm just glad that it's all over and that I actually enjoyed it. :)  I don't have any races in the near future and I kind of like that.  I want to relax a little, eat freely, and exercise for fun, not because I have to.  These next few months will be chill but I refuse to let myself fall off track and go crazy in the other direction.  Nope. I want to stay fit, eat smart, and just be healthy.  Here's to a good and productive winter!