Spiritual Nourishment

When I was on my mission, reading the Ensign magazine was like candy.  It was an added sweetness to our normal studies; a splash of color; a taste of humor; a glimpse of the gospel working for others throughout the world.  I LOVE the Ensign... only I haven't feasted upon it like I used to.  Now it comes in the mail along side bills and running magazines and often-times stays wrapped in plastic longer than it should.  

Today was a turning point.  

I glanced through it this morning to find a spiritual thought to use in my Presidency meeting.  I came across this poem and loved it.  The Ensign is like candy to me again. :)

The Atonement

by Lisa Jan South

My happiness and peace

seemed forever gone,

leaving only regret--

until I saw the blackened earth.

One bad decision and a forest

was destroyed--

or would have been

except for the saving grace

and promise of new life

evidenced in small green shoots

pushing through the ashes.

(Ensign Feb. 2011 pg. 12)

http://lds.org/ensign?lang=eng

Even just today, I have read this poem over and over again and embrace its meaning.  I love how the gospel can relate to any aspect of our lives.  I frequently apply it to setting goals and "starting over" and "becoming new" and not giving up on ourselves.  That is what the gospel is all about, and that's why I especially love the image above.  Even when things in our life may seem destroyed or worthless or lost... the green sprout represents change.  Renewal. Hope in Christ.  The Atonement.  I know it is real and that good things do come from ashes and failure.  And then we must follow the council in Alma ch. 32 to act-- to experiment, plant, nourish, and desire all these good things waiting for us.

The gospel is good.  The Atonement is real.  The Ensign is spiritual candy.

The Dating Game

Boys are weird.  I go through fluctuations of "no dates forever and boys are dumb"... or "lots of blind dates and set-ups and boys are confusing."  I don't know which one I prefer. 

And then there's the situations like I encountered after FHE this week when a group of 3 boys (none of which I have any interest in... and one I really don't like at all) called my name a few times-- I ignored them-- then they yelled out "BREE!" again and I finally turned and said, "What?!"  The one boy said, "Uhh... my guitar is getting dusty."  (That was his way of saying, 'Remember how you were going to teach me how to play the guitar?' and it was like he had been dared into saying it by his buddies because he's too much of a wuss to have a normal conversation with me on his own.)  So I said, "Well then pick it up and play it."  (I was annoyed and getting into my car and not in the mood for high school-ish boys).  He replied, "I do pick it up but all I get is "blah blah blah" and I stopped listening.  So I just shrugged and said I hardly have time to play the guitar these days and ended with something like "good luck. " Then I got in my car and drove off. 

I felt kind of like a jerk, because usually I'm the girl who will say hi to any boy and be nice and willing to go out at least once with anyone.  It stemmed from church dances as a youth and never telling a boy no for asking me to dance-- props to him for having the courage to talk to a girl!  But now-a-days... I'm done with games and done with lazy boys and done with boys who can't even muster up the courage to talk to me like a normal human being.  So does this make me too picky?  Sometimes I wonder... but I've decided I deserve a good boy.  A champion.

Right now there are 2 boys who I kind of go back and forth with.  Neither of which I am super giddy over, and neither of which has showed TONS of interest... but both have made enough efforts for me to have to weigh the options and think, "Hmmm."  One is my age, which is weird because I usually hang out with younger people and most likely don't know how to socialize with 30 yr olds.  The other boy is 7 years younger *gasp* and that's just funny to me.  Both like music.  Both are outdoorsy.  Both dress nice and seem attractive to me.  When it comes to spirituality one seems to rise above the other.  When it comes to being established and owning a home, one is ahead of the other.  *shrug*  It's interesting. 

My natural self would initiate dates and think of fun things to do and kind of "pre-plan" my week to be available and what not.  But one of my goals is to just be natural and not make all the efforts on my own.  The boys need to work!  If they really like me (as I've learned in "He's Just Not That Into You"-- the BOOK)... they will certainly make the time.  If a boy likes me, he will call or text or whatever.  So I'm at the point where I'm just waiting to see who does what, and who makes the efforts.  And maybe neither of these boys will really take the initiative and I'll be back to square one of no dates for a while.  But I guess we'll see!

To Run or Not to Run...

A year ago some "mission moms" in Washington invited me to run in the Leavenworth half-marathon that October. Leavenworth was my first mission area and the most beautiful little mountain town I'd ever been to. It's a Bavarian tourist village with towering mountains and pine trees, with a winding river through it. As a missionary I would soak in the beauty, take deep breaths of fresh air, and think happy thoughts. :) But a half-marathon? Yeah right man, I don't even run. But a few days went by and I thought about it and decided that would be a cool accomplishment in my 30th year. I was determined to not have a depressing 30th birthday or finish 2010 with nothing to feel good about. I had 9 months to prepare. And I was committed. :)

#1. Cassity (my roommate) had found this "Couch to 5K" program on the internet so I started following that schedule. It's a great way to ease into running/walking/jogging if you ever need to just start from nothing. (I tried finding the program online but can't find the one I used. So if you're interested, let me know and I'll e-mail you the spreadsheet I made!) It literally starts out with "walk 1 min, jog 1 min, and repeat for 20 minutes". Of course I can run 1 minute. Well, even then I was huffing and puffing, but the days and weeks increase the difficulty level and it was a good start.

#2. I bought Jeff Galloway's book, "Half-Marathon: You Can Do It" and read it pretty thoroughly and started following a 35 week training schedule to be ready for a half-marathon. His infamous training ideas is a "run/walk/run" method to get you conditioned and enable you to run long distances. I remember the first time I ran 5 miles and felt so great. Even though I had done it in intervals of "run 4 min/walk 1" I was able to run for a longer period of time, and cover more distance. Sweet.

#3. Style! I rewarded myself with new running socks, pants, bandannas, or other random things. I never have a lot of money so I had to keep it reasonable. With my short hair, I was delighted to discover how perfect a bandanna was to keep the hair out of my eyes and sweat from dripping down all over my face. I have one of just about every color, Tie-dye, multi-color patterns, you name it. I love them. And when I run I like to wear bright colors because they make me happy.

#4. Cassity proved to be helpful once again when she showed me a book she had bought on clearance at Deseret Book: "The Supermarket Diet". The idea is to find foods right there at your normal grocery store without having to shop at 5 different health food stores and therefore spend $500 in one shot. I eat like crap. I love fast food. I love 5 yr old meals like hotdogs, grilled cheese, macaroni & cheese, cold cereal, and chicken nuggets. Healthy eating is not my forte... but for some reason this book worked for me! The meals were pretty much normal and only forced me to weird thing like hummus a few times, which actually wasn't all that bad.

#5. I've never been one to care about weight. I always told myself "muscle weighs more than fat" so I didn't freak out at my weight. But once I started running and actually noticed that I was losing weight... it took on a new meaning. And actually became a huge motivation. I eventually "earned" myself a pair of new shoes after I had lost 15 lbs, and absolutely love them! I had been saving up and bough them at "Runner's Corner" in Orem. The guy there is a long time running coach, watched me run, gave me tips, and even showed me how to correct my form to be more succesful. It was wonderful and I really think that 5 minute training session improved my running abilities. I ended up with a pink and silver shoe, which is totally not "me"... but I love it and wear the pink with pride.

The months passed by and my friend invited me to join her team for the Red Rock Relay in St. George, in September. It was a few weeks before the half-marathon so I thought it would be a great goal to keep me working hard. The relay was SO much fun and such an adventurous and exhausting weekend. 12 people on a team. 180 miles. 30+ hours. 3 legs each varying from 3-8 miles. Our team name was "To Run or Not to Run". It was awesome, despite the recent pain in my knee that had developed a few weeks prior. I wore a knee brace for a while and tried to be really careful. I decided in the winter months I should work harder to strengthen my quads and do a variety of exercise besides just running... because otherwise my knee will be really messed up and my running days will be over. But I pulled through, and althoug I didn't run as well as I'd hoped for the Red Rock weekend... it was such a blast! I'm signed up to run the Ragnar Wasatch Back this June, and hope to a few other relays as well.

The half-marathon day finally arrive and I was excited and ready. My knee felt good and I wasn't anticipating any problems. I ran with a group of ladies from my mission who had created their own group to motivate each other and train together. Their motto was "Courage to Start-- Faith to Finish" and we all wore pink shirts with purple lettering on the back. There were about 10 of us and it was fun to be there together and to cheer each other on at the end. I finished in 2 hrs 36 min and I was hoping to finish before 2 1/2 hours... sooo... close enough, right? I'd never experience so much pain in my legs before as I did the moment I crossed the finish line and stopped running. I'd miraculously managed to run 13.1 miles continuously without stopping, which is crazy and rebellious from my "run/walk/run" training method. But I felt good enough, and I was afraid that if I stopped to walk I wouldn't be able to start running again. I think I would have been right. :) I also decided that day that I never want to run a full marathon because I would hate my life by mile 17 and want to kill people by mile 20 and then just fall over dead before ever finishing. So if you're wondering... no... I really don't have plans to ever run a full marathon. That could change... but I'm 99% sure that will never be a goal or desire.

So. Half-marathon finished. Now what?! I took off 3 months... not on purpose... just because I got lazy and kept getting sick and then there's the holiday season and that just doesn't even need an explanation. After losing 20-25 pounds during my running season, I've gained a few pounds back and look forward to getting those the heck out of here soon. I figure my "fitness foundation" at the beginning of this new running season is far better than it was last year. A year ago I could hardly run a few minutes without wanting to quit. Now I'm anxious to get back and be soaked in sweat and feel that stiff soreness that comes after a good work-out. I don't have a specific half-marathon in mind yet for this year, but I'm assuming I'll find something to do in the late summer or fall. Until then, I'll do a variety of work-outs in the little gym facility where Brittney lives, do some strength training, build up my leg muscles to protect from future knee injuries... and just have fun in the mean time!

 

My newest toy is the tiny iPod Nano that just came out this year. Cassity (once again the coolest roommate ever) helped me purchase one as a Christmas gift, and it really is such a great little tool! Last year I was using a cheap mp3 player that only accepted songs from a website that had no selection of good music. So I was starving for good music to run to. Now I have it right at my finger tips, literally. A little touch screen that has a built-in clip on the back that has a spring so it can just clip right on to your pants or anything. I still struggle to find earbuds that work for my odd-shaped right ear. I've gone through 4 or 5 sets and my ear must be shaped weird because nothing fits, big or small. Oh well! Life must go on and I will keep running. Why? Because it's invigorating and I always feel so much better afterward. I'm 30. I'm single. I'm healthy. I'm happy. I'm hopeful. I'm a runner. :)

Marriage: What Makes it Work?

Some people hate weddings. Especially single people. Not me though. I like them! It's like a sampling of anything I could ever do for my own wedding experience-- specifically the reception. This weekend I drove down to St. George to witness the wedding of two special friends. This wasn't just any 2 people though-- I was the matchmaker! That's right, pat on the back to me. I officially brought the lives of Katie Neilson and Daniel Moss together. :)

It was almost a year ago when some friends of mine (Mosses included) were getting together to play volleyball. I had recently become friends with Katie, knew she was athletic, and invited her to come. After spending some time playing with the dominating Moss brothers (Jason & Daniel) I never would have imagined Katie one day joining the family. However, when we left that night, she commented, "I think the taller one is pretty cute." A week later I was going on a blind date and decided to make it a group date. My roommate Cassity found a date and I told Katie she should go with Daniel. I even did the text inviting to Daniel (ha, lame) and he seemed okay with it. The date itself was full of awkward conversation and Daniel was wearing Swedish pants that were rather tight and I remember thinking, "Hmm... maybe they're not a match made in Heaven." Well... to my surprise I talked to Katie about Daniel a couple weeks later and they'd been spending time together almost every day! What?! Where did THAT come from?! Well, at that point, my job was done. The rest is history, and after traveling through ups and downs and doubts and confusion... Katie and Daniel are still in love and ready to share their lives together!

So that's what brings me to the title of this post-- Marriage: what makes it work? The beginning of any relationship is probably giddy and exciting and hopeful and fun. Then, like any Disney movie, there comes a time when it's not so fun and there are obstacles and maybe some heartache or misunderstanding... but then somehow the 2 people make it past that tricky part and come out winners in the end. Not ALL stories go like this, but lots of them do. I've never been engaged. I've hardly even had a real boyfriend. Just lots of dates. And crushes. And I'm just awkward with boys I think, but I'm hoping one day I get married.

When I was home for Christmas my family had a lot of good conversations about marriage, and why it works so well for different couples-- even people who are entirely opposites and you'd never imagine them together. So I'm interested to hear why it works for you. Or people you know. What are the tricks? Secrets? Cautions? Not that I can apply any of this advice to my life right now... but maybe one day I'll use it to my own benefit. Hooray for people who find each other and love each other enough to want to be together forever. :)

Back in the Day

Back in the day, I wanted to be a professional basketball player. I played all the time in our driveway and wore spandex and high-top shoes. I taught myself how to spin a basketball on any of my fingers and played on my junior high and high school basketball teams. (I quit the team in high school because I was super self-conscious of my arms and didn't want to be the only one on the court wearing a white T-shirt under my jersey). We played church basketball in Young Women and they nicknamed our team "Toone Town" because my sisters and I dominated. I made 3-pointers all the time and I was 15 years old.

Fast forward 15 years. (crap I'm getting old). Tonight I played in a church basketball game with my sister Heather. I was a little nervous but excited to play in a somewhat competitive atmosphere. I tried playing bball 2 years ago with friends and always got so frustrated because I wasn't as good as I used to be. Tonight's game was like a huge sledge hammer hovering over my bubble of self-esteem... and *BAM* *BAM* *BAM*... I'm not such a hot shot anymore.

If we could get points for "negative" plays in a game, I would have been the MVP.

1. After my teammate missed her second free-throw shot, I jumped up and grabbed the rebound (proud of myself) and took off dribbling at high-speed down the court. I passed half-court and the ref blew his whistle. Back-court penalty. What?! Everyone was pointing the other way and Heather reminded me it was OUR team shooting the free-throws... hence the direction of OUR basket. I'd completely sprinted off in the wrong direction. I wanted to put myself on the bench.

2. I had the ball and was racing down the court towards the basket (going the right direction this time) and totally lost control and the ball flew out of my hands and hit the wall as I awkwardly jumped in the air. The ref called a foul against another player and I got 2 free foul shots. The girl objected, "Was she even going up for a shot??" Yeah, I didn't even know.

3. I missed both of my foul shots.

4. After the other team made a basket I grabbed the ball to pass inbounds... but for some reason stepped forward too soon, crossed over the line and the ref blew his whistle. The other team got the ball. Just like that! Idiot. I was out of bounds and didn't have anyone defending me... and I still lost the ball.

5. I was passing the ball inbounds again, looking carefully for the right person to pass it to. Too late! Ref blew his whistle. My 5 seconds were up. Crap! Who even remembers that rule? I tossed the ball back with a little bit of frustration and attitude. Oops.

I'll stop there or I might decide to never play basketball again. The good news is I did make one cool shot (it was luck but it was a lay-up and it looked great) and I think that kept the others from thinking I was a complete loser. Heather played really well and I'm related to her so that's a bonus. And I was wearing a bright green bandanna, which is deceiving because I look tough and then people think I'm good. :)

So much for Toone Town. Oh to be 15 again with knobby knees and gangly arms and the energy to run back and forth for an hour. I will redeem myself. THAT is a promise.

The Blogging Bandwagon

So I've always considered blogs a lovely past-time for moms and people who do exciting things that travel the world and have tons to write about. Meanwhile, I've mastered the art of updating my Facebook 3-5 times a day and have probably shared some things on there that aren't meant for my 800+ "friends" to read. :)

But recently I've found great humor in my simple life and decided I just might have some fun things to share-- with people who really matter and not just whoever happens to sign on to Facebook and read it in their news feed. I'm 30, single, and moving out of the Singles Ward soon; I live in a condo with a fun roommate and we share a crazy, spastic Jack Russell Terrier puppy; I'm the director of an after-school Teen Program at the Boys & Girls Club in Midvale, UT and let's face it... teens are ridiculously awesome and unpredictable; I seem to be a target for people trying to set up their single guy friends and go on my fair share of dates, but still qualify to be one of the most awkwardly boy-social girls out there; I started running a year ago and am currently starting to get back into the groove to train for some fun races in the future. *shrug* If you think any of this might sound fun and interesting... by all means... join in on the fun! I'm officially jumping on the Bandwagon. :)