Skinny Jeans... What's Your Opinion?

"Eeewwwww" was my first response to skinny jeans.  I was on my mission (4 years ago) when a past companion of mine called me all excited about her purchase on P-Day:  Skinny Jeans at Wal-mart!  Gross.  First of all-- who cares about fashion on the mission?  Not me.  But this Sister did, and she rocked it.  But skinny jeans were barf to me.  And I told her that all the time.  

Then I got home from my mission and started working at the Boys & Girls Club (2009).  I noticed a few girls wearing skinny jeans and was shocked that some girls who really shouldn't wear skinny jeans were definitely wearing them.  Every day.  And I thought, "Really?"  It was even more weird when I noticed the trend switching over for boys too.  Your typical "baggy pants" skater boys were suddenly wearing tight, tapered pants.  I remember the first time I noticed this as I watched some boys play basketball at the Club.  "What... are... those... pants he's wearing?"  Weird.  It was all so weird to me.

Then I went to the "Dew Tour" in Salt Lake City where all these skaters and BMX bikers competed against each other (2011).  They were all wearing skinny jeans and FOR THE FIRST TIME skinny jeans made sense:  Since the pants were tight against their legs, their pants wouldn't get all caught up in the pedals or spokes of the bike like baggy pants would.  But it's still ridiculous how some boys sag their skinny jeans because then it just looks plain dumb.  Justin Bieber.  But whatev.  :)  

Okay.  So I finally got used to skinny jeans and slowly observed how skinny jeans and furry winter boots were a cute style.  I could maybe do that one day.  But I vowed to never wear skinny jeans with those flat girly shoes because that's just not my style.  I don't own any of those cute flats... nor do I think I'd ever buy them.  I've gone on rants about girly shoes before.  Don't get me started on heels.  Barf.

Well last year I came to the realization that I was in my 30's, still wearing jeans and a T-shirt to work every day.  It was completely normal to me... and probably more than anything-- it was comfortable.  But there I was surrounded by teens who were super fashionable and made me look like crap.  Not like I need to compete with 16 yr olds... but in a way they inspired me to care about myself more-- or at least try to look nicer and more appropriate for certain occasions.  

That was also during the trend when people put fake feathers in their hair.  All my Club teens had one and I just cringed and said, "Yuck, I'll never do that."  They kept trying and trying to get me to do it but I refused.  I don't like anything in my hair.  But I promised them that I would wear skinny jeans before ever putting a feather in my hair. 

Christmas break (2011) rolled around and I was shopping at home in Pennsylvania.  Somehow I felt ever so inspired to look for skinny jeans.  What?! And I found a pair on sale that fit nicely.  They were actually quite comfortable which was really surprising to me.  It was like this little "Bree transformation" took place over that week back home and I was so excited to come back to Utah with my new look.  

It was official.  I owned skinny jeans.  

Then I bought cute boots to wear with them.  And I liked them!  Surprise surprise.

So I've swallowed my pride a little and I'm not such a skinny jeans hater anymore.  I've worn them on several occasions.  In the summer time I rolled them up a little and wore them with flip flops or cute summery shoes. And every time, without fail, someone at work says, "Look at you in your skinny jeans! I love it!"  And I just smile and say thanks!  Well... it's more like I do a little jig and show off a little, but whatever.

I currently own 2 pairs of skinny jeans.  Woa, woa, calm down. I know!  I'm looking forward to wintery boot weather because they look the cutest that way.

Today one of the teens (who is a little insecure and not usually one who cares about fashion) said to me, "Hey Bree... I'll wear my skinny jeans tomorrow if you wear your's."  I said, "YES!!"  and then announced to everyone else in the room. "Tomorrow is skinny jeans day!  Wear your skinny jeans!"  Did I ever imagine myself saying that?  Ever?  No way.  And granted, there are people out there who already wear skinny jeans every day because they can rock the look.  But as for me... I will only wear skinny jeans when I feel like it.

And for now... I'll be wearing them tomorrow.  :)

Butterflies & Old Crush

I was looking at an old crush on Facebook tonight.  When I say old crush, I mean... a crush boy from junior high and high school.  Like 15-17 years ago!  And you know what's crazy? I still get butterflies looking at his pictures.  He's not someone you'd picture me having a crush on, but boy did I ever like that guy.  I wrote about him in my journal and told every little detail from dancing with him at a school dance or whatever.  And here we are in our 30's and I'm still crushing over him like a 12 year old.  That one will never go anywhere.  I promise.  And that's okay.

But there are other crushes from the past that still make my stomach flip.  Or heart jump.  Or cheeks go red.

I can remember the exact moments of where I saw them or feeling so nervous to talk to them.  Or taking note of every little detail of the memory.

That doesn't happen anymore.

I never feel sparks like that.  Like, ever.

So what's my deal?  Of course I still like boys.  Of course I think some are attractive.  But I miss that fun feeling of just LIKING THEM SO MUCH you couldn't think straight.  Or sleep.  Or function.

But maybe life isn't supposed to be like that.  Maybe all those feelings aren't even real or good.

Or are they?

Now don't go thinking I'm not married because I've been passing on boys if I don't feel that spark.  That's not the case at all.  I've gone on multiple dates with boys of all different kinds and sometimes I feel something more than others.  But of any of the boys I have met, dated, or semi-dated in the past 10 years... I think only 1 really gave me those butterfly feelings.  That was in 2005.  It was a short summer fling but oh how I liked him.  A lot.

When I'm in love one day and find a husband-- if that happens-- I want to feel butterflies when I see him.  Not because he's so dang hot I can hardly stand it, but because he's just so attractive and GOOD and wonderful that I feel so lucky he's mine.  Those kind of butterflies.  I know that exists for some people.  And I'm happy for them.

Here's to butterflies.

Scorpion & Door Alarm!

Okay.  The phrase going through my head is:  "It's all fun and games until a random scorpion comes out of no where!" I was at work today, preparing to leave early to rush off to my class.  It had been a pretty chill day, aside from my crazy last minute cramming to get homework done.  Then this kid comes up to me and says excitedly, "Why is there a scorpion in the snack room?  You shouldn't have scorpions here!"  I was confused and said, "Uhhh... yeah, I know.  We don't have scorpions here."  That was weird.  The kid insisted that he was telling the truth but I didn't believe him.

Then my staff girl came in with a stressed look on her face.  The scorpion thing was true.  What?!  Where the heck did a scorpion come from?

Then my 2 staff guys come in carrying a big box, and all the teens are following after.  I thought maybe they were playing a prank on me and were going to throw something at me out of the box.  I refused to get close to it and lead them outside.  Finally they put the box on the ground and said, "No really... it's in there."  I slowly peered over the side of the box and saw something that looked just like this:

Are you KIDDING ME?!  What the crap?  My staff guy informed me that one of the other directors had a pet scorpion in his office, so at least that explains where it came from.  But the fact that this scorpion was OUT of that cage, OUT of the office, and wandering around in some room down the hallway... not cool!  And super creepy.  I tried calling that director.  No answer.  Called my boss.  No answer.  Awesome.  

As I'm trying to deal with the unwanted scorpion, someone tells me that the side door alarm is going off in the teen center.  This blaring sound goes off when the emergency is opened, which no one is allowed to use.  But someone opened the door and the only way to turn off the blaring sound is to use a key to turn the lock.  I didn't have the key.  My boss did. And he wasn't answering his phone!  Grrrrrrr.  

10 minutes go by and the alarm is still going off.  Staff guys get the scorpion back in the cage.  A kid comes over to me and says, "Bree did you know the alarm is going off?"  I snap back and say, "You think I don't hear that right now?!"

Finally boss comes back to Club and saves the day with his key.  Turns off the alarm.  He'll deal with the director and the scorpion sitch.  And it was time for me to leave early for my class.  Today was one of those days where I was running out the door saying "SEE YA!" and had no problem driving away and leaving it behind.  I'm sure tomorrow will be a much better day. :)  

Allergic to Bananas?!

Okay.  Many of you are aware of my sister, Heather's, health adventures and mystery symptoms that she's been dealing with for over a year now.  Whether it's food allergies or who knows what... the doctors are still trying to find answers.  I've been trying to be my own doctor this week as I've noticed my own weird symptoms.  

I love eating a bowl of cereal at night.  I may eat several bowls of cereal late at night.  And then I started noticing how I would be super itchy before I went to bed... just itchy everywhere!  And I'd just sit and scratch and scratch my back and sides and legs and stomach and arms and head and.... where is all this itching coming from?!  It just kind of showed up out of no where.  

Was it the cereal?  The milk?  The delicious banana slices?

Well...I kept eating my nightly snack because I loved it and looked forward to it.  But man, that crazy itching is just that-- crazy.  And not normal.  I've never had something like that before.  

This week I finally decided I should try to figure out where the itching was coming from.  I went a few days without the cereal.  Maybe it was the Kix and I'm "gluten intolerant".  I devoured Wheat Chex and didn't feel the itching.  I was just kind of making up my own experiment.  

Today I finally decided to test the bananas.  I had the perfectly colored banana that I got the day before.  Just when a banana turns from green to yellow is the PERFECT banana.  Any sign of spots or brown is way too ripe.  But that yellow-green color is just what I love.  And this banana was just that.  I ate it for breakfast and loved it.  And slowly but surely, throughout the day, I felt the itching.  I even itch behind and in my ears! And all around my neck. It's weird.  It wasn't as intense as my night itching... but definitely there.  Then tonight I went to Red Mango and I usually get the peanut butter yogurt with banana slices.  I sighed and thought, "Dang... I might be allergic to bananas.  This is sad."  But instead, I decided to chance it one more time.  I went ahead and ordered my usual-- with banana slices.  It has been 2 hours since then and I am ITCHING LIKE CRAZY!!!  Even my finger tips itch this very moment.  It's so weird.

COULD I POSSIBLY BE ALLERGIC TO BANANAS?!  Just like that?!

I *LOVE* bananas.  I'm not a berry girl at all.  I will pass up strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, or any berry without a second thought.  Apples and bananas are my "go to" fruit, with bananas being my #1.  The interesting thing is my dad is allergic to bananas, so growing up, we always had to make him his own little bowl of jello or whatever the dessert was that might include bananas.  Did I somehow "inherit" this lovely allergy of his?

It makes me sad.

And then I think of Heather and other friends who have all kinds of food allergies and restrictions!  Perhaps this is my own little taste of their struggle.  It could be a lot worse.

So this is my plan.

I'm going to just not eat bananas at all for many days... and see if this itching appears at all.  If so, then I need to switch my experiment.  If not... I just may have discovered a new allergy.  I'll keep you posted!

:::::itchy wrists now, too!!:::::::

Texting & Driving Habit

 I've decided to turn over a new leaf.  I need to be a more careful and cautious driver.  The picture above is pretty much  a snapshot of my driving life.  Although I claim to be a good driver and know my surroundings on the road, I get completely distracted with everything that doesn't have to do with driving.

Common activities while driving:

#1 TEXTING (I know I know, I'll get to this in a minute...)

#2 Eating... usually a bowl of cereal.

#3 Apply my mascara

#4 Talk on the phone

#5 Write in my planner (I've been known to do this quite a few times)

#6 Read (Back in the days of Hunger Games & Harry Potter)

#7 Change songs, etc. on my iPod

I'll stop there because this is getting embarrassing.  I am not--by any means-- glorifying any of these actions or habits that I've developed.  I guess a daily 30 min. one-way commute has given me some time for creativity... and stupidity.  It's just routine:

I jump into my car.  Fiddle with my iPod and set the playlist I want for the day.  Balance my bowl of cereal or rest it on the dashboard.  Get on I-15 and do my mascara at the same spot every day.  Usually around the point of the mountain.  I'll text throughout the drive to give me something to do and give me time to receive responses and whatnot.  If I've just had a phone call to set an appointment or something, I whip out my planner and write it down.  I used to read at stoplights and stuff, but I don't think I've ever read while on the freeway.  I can't make any promises though.  And most of the time I am relaxed and steering with my knees.

How have I managed to stay alive all these years?!  I am a walking (driving) miracle.

I know none of these habits are good.  And they are dangerous.  But nothing has really made me stop.  I've seen all the billboards, YouTube videos, and pleading messages about not texting and driving.  Even the most heart-wrenching stories about deaths from texting and driving... I'm just kind of numb to it all and kept on in my merry little behaviors.  I'm really good at "acting natural" as cars pass by me (so they're not alarmed) and then I go back to whatever I was doing.  

So last week at work I had run to get something to eat and was driving back to the Club.  I was a few minutes late so I texted my staff guys to let them know I'd be there in a few minutes.  I was sitting at a red light at the time, so not technically driving.  Anyway, when I got to Club and walked into the Teen Center, all the teens and staff were waiting for me, and on the count of 3 they yelled in unison:  "DON'T TEXT AND DRIVE!!!"  Without even trying to defend myself, I exclaimed, "I know!! It's so bad!! I do it all the time!! ALL THE TIME!"  It was like a moment of confession.  And then complete shame.  And embarrassment.  A few minutes later I was talking to one of my staff and realized, "hey! I wasn't even driving when I sent that text! I was at a red light!"  So I yelled that out to the teen center to try to redeem myself... but I realized I had already spilled the unfortunate truth.  

I AM GUILTY OF TEXTING AND DRIVING.  EVERY DAY.  ALWAYS.  

I heard some teens call out how it's dangerous, etc... and I said, "I know I know..." and just brushed it off.  But later as I met with my new "Squad" for the school year (a group of teens I picked to be on my squad for competitions and what not), we were setting goals.  As most of their goals were about grades and school topics, I announced that my goal was to stop texting and driving.  And I meant it.  I told them to check back with me in a week to see how I was doing.

That night I drove home, committed to no texting.  It was kind of boring, and I struggled several times.  My music didn't seem as entertaining and the drive seemed EXTRA long.  But I made it.  The next day was tough for me.  I always keep my phone right there within reach, in case someone calls (or texts).  Without even thinking, I reached for my phone a few times ready to send a text to someone... sat there holding it... and slowly put it down.  It was the weirdest thing-- like a real addiction.  And it was a huge turning point for me.  A light bulb epiphany.

I've never been addicted to drugs, alcohol, smoking, pornography, or any of those kinds of things.  I never really understood why people would continue to harm themselves.  And here I was reaching for my phone like it was nothing.  It was so natural for me I didn't even realize I was doing it.  And suddenly I had a new perspective on addiction.  Obviously, I knows it's hard for people to stop doing those things they're addicted to, but I had become so careless in my own situation and didn't even care.  I've always thought:  "Why would someone continue to do drugs if they know what it's doing to their family, friends, health, etc?"  And they keep doing it.  Well... why would I continue to text & drive when I know how dangerous it is and can result in terrible outcomes?  Yet I kept doing it.  And I wasn't any better than anyone else.

Working with teens really puts an added weight on my life-- a good weight.  I know I am constantly in the light of setting an example, being a role model, and setting forth the footsteps they can follow in.  Just as they will struggle with their own issues and addictions (especially when I meet with teens as a school counselor), I can empathize and give them hope for change.  I have to be strong and good-- all the time.  I don't have any room to be lazy, careless, thoughtless, or dumb.  I have to be smart for me and them.

But last week was the first time I really changed it.  And it hasn't even been a week yet so I can't claim to be some amazing person.  But I'm trying.  Tonight a friend jokingly told me to just put my phone in my trunk and then the temptation won't even be there.  So I did.  And the ride home was pleasant, without any form of temptation.  And I felt good when I got home.

This is Bree all open and honest about her huge weakness.  Take it or leave it.

Today one of the teens asked me if I had been texting and driving and I was so happy to tell her, "NO!!" :)  And I explained that I almost messed up a few times but didn't let myself slip.  Here's to many more days and safe adventures of being smart.  May my life be long and lovely.

PRIVATE BLOG... I give in

The time has arrived.

I want to start a private blog.

I hate having to "filter" my thoughts or feel like I have to hide certain things from mysterious readers.

In fact, I have no idea who reads this blog, but thanks for reading!

So I will start a SECOND blog.  Private.  Approved readers only.

And I will pour my heart out about WHATEVER I WANT.

And still post fun, random things in this one.

Who's with me?!

PLEASE COMMENT or send an e-mail if you want to have access to my ultimate "BREE UNPLUGGED" blog of dating thoughts, embarrassing moments, heart-felt experiences, and so on.  I'm excited.

Girls Camp HAPPINESS!

This Girls Camp post is about a month behind, but I have to document my amazing Girls Camp experience as a LEADER.  Girls Camp always brought mixed feelings, with changes taking place every year.  In California I was pretty shy and didn't have a lot of church friends.  So it was a blessing to always have my parents and sisters at camp with me!  I loved all the activities and especially my camp and youth leaders.  I think the people I met at camp have been more influential than anyone else in my life.  I have a huge testimony of GIRLS CAMP.  :)  Once I reached the age of a "YCL" (youth camp leader) I had emerged out of my shell a little and was more confident and outgoing.  My best year at camp was my 5th year (last camp year in CA) and I got to be a leader to all the little 1st year campers.  They were adorable and I felt important and loved.  I made so many friends that year and got the "Most Spirited Camper" award, which was a huge accomplishment for me. :)  When I moved to PA I went to one more year of camp and had a blast with all my new friends.  Overall, I loved it and always looked forward to that crazy week of fun.

Then 12 years went by and suddenly so many of my friends were serving in Young Women in their wards, which meant they got to go to Girls Camp.  I was still running my summer camps for work and wished so much I could just go to Girls Camp.  This year it was finally my turn!  As 2nd counselor in our Stake Young Women, it was certain that I'd be a part of camp this year.  YAY!

Early on in the year I told the camp director(s) I would love to help with music.  And that's how I became the camp music lady. :)  I also had the responsibilities of flag ceremonies, astronomy certification, and 4th year adviser.  I loved it all!  I loved being involved and knowing all the nitty gritty details behind the scenes.  Our camp director (Kathy) and assistant director (Jen) were absolutely AMAZING and I loved laughing and joking with them.  Basically... I was 100% happy all week long! No joke.  I had so much fun getting to know the girls in the wards, acting crazy, laughing, singing & playing the guitar, doing heel-clicks, canoeing, competing, pranking, late-night talking, etc.  It was all just perfect and so good.  There were many spiritual aspects included that strengthened my testimony as well and I came away from camp so uplifted and rejuvenated. Not only did I make a whole new world of teenage friends (I seem to be good at that), I also made real grown-up friends too! :)  It was a great opportunity for me to familiarize myself with so many other leaders in the ward and stake levels, and now I feel much more comfortable and confident in my calling.

Here are some of my favorite pictures from Girls Camp.  (The whole collection is on Facebook)

Fabulous Camp Directors! (Kath-left, and Jen-right)

Talented Camp Cooks! (Liisa Roden-left, and Terri Hatch-right)

Some of my new grown-up friends! :)  (Sarah-left, and Kelly-right)

Crazy, fun girls in another ward.   :)

Happy to be with girls from my own ward.

I feel like these ladies are my other Moms!  Kathy & Marchele (Stake YW President)

3rd Ward Awesome-ness before canoeing.

Yeah.  I tried to "wash" my hair with baking soda that morning.  Then it got wet.

So.... this was the incredibly fabulous result! Everyone loved it.

Having fun with the crazy hair.

Jen (Asst. Director) was absolutely adorable ALL the time!

Me and my buddy Gentry playing with face paint.

Face paint gone bad!

Me and Emma, a super hilarious 6th year camper.

The YCL's were so proud of themselves after hiding our pillows. :)

Camp Mia Shalom

The Stake Leaders & YCL's slept in the cabin above the pavilion.

Incredigirl:  I loved this camp theme! :)  

Gentry came up from behind and smashed cake in my face.  

Her mom wiped most of it off for me.

I tried to get her back but didn't have any success...

More happy face paint with Alyssa.

Emma & Gentry being themselves at flag ceremony.  Super funny all the time. :)

My little groupies!  Love these girls.

Doing fun service on the last day of camp.

LAST DAY... exhausted and ready to leave!  But kind of wanting to stay longer. :)

Some new friends!  So fun.

Gentry & Emma on skit night.  So much fun.

Stake Leaders doing their "roll call" song.

Me at the very end of our skit. :)

One of the most memorable things about camp was singing the "theme song" I wrote, along with the guitar.  I finished it about a week before camp and was just going to perform it the first night of camp.  But after that first night Kathy wanted me to TEACH it to everyone so we could sing it all together on the last night of camp when all the bishops and ward leaders came up for the evening.  I taught the YCL's one night and the Spirit was strong.  I loved it.  I taught it to the rest of the camp the next night and we sang it several times.  It was amazing to hear 100+ people singing a song I WROTE!  What an awesome experience.  Here is the little video I made for it the night before camp.  It's called "I Am a Hero."

This is a video of when we were practicing the song at camp.  

Most of the girls were off to the right of the camera.

The song seemed to stick in the hearts and minds of everyone at camp.  Kathy told me she kept hearing girls singing or humming it during craft time or just randomly around camp.  I love that!  It was such a privilege to be at camp for 6 days, surrounded by nature and new, warm friendships.  I can't wait 'til next year!

p.s.  We can't forget about the camp pranks.  Some of the ward leaders stole all the pillows of the stake leaders, bagged them up, and sent them out in a canoe in the middle of the lake.  At flag ceremony we were given a tiny note that read: "Dear Stake Leaders, I'm sorry you lost your pillows.  Love, the Lonely Canoe."  We laughed and thought, "Oh crap... our pillows are in a canoe on the lake."  Sure enough... way off in the distance, during the evening program, we see this lonely canoe slowly floating out in the lake.  It was sooo funny.  Once it hit the side of the bank, a truck came by that thought it was garbage, so they were in the process of loading their truck.  Luckily, one of the leaders who was guilty of the prank took off sprinting towards the lake so those men wouldn't throw away our pillows.  Jen ran off with her and they successfully retrieved our pillows. :)  I love pranks... they make me laugh.  Yay!

p.p.s.  At camp, we challenged the girls and leaders to each do 100 acts of service by December 2013.  This is the blog I created to share experiences and encourage everyone to complete the goal! :)

http://incredigirl2012.blogspot.com/