Just Do It...

Why am I so nervous & awkward about Visiting Teaching?

I served a full-time mission and talked to all kinds of people all day, every day.

I was the Relief Society President for over a year and loved going out of my way to meet new people.

At work I talk to people of various ages all day long and love it.

So why is it that now that I'm in a new ward (group of people I go to church with), I'm a big wimp and totally procrastinated and let days and weeks go by without making any contact with anyone on my cute little refridgerator magnet?

How did I go from leading Presidency meetings, participating in Ward Council, having discussions with the Bishop, conducting and teaching Relief Society, and speaking confidently in other Church meetings... to being too scared to even call a phone number of someone I've never met?

Yeah, it's been weird. 

And I guess it's proof to me that as a full-time missionary or any other calling that you're "set apart" to do... you really do have some kind of special strength and ability to carry out your responsibilities.

Because right now I feel lame and timid.  :)

Well, last week I decided I really needed to just crack down and make things happen because I didn't want to fail at the only assignment I have in church right now.  (I'm still waiting for a calling and getting a little antsy).  My Visiting Teaching partner is a tiny lady, probably in her 50's or 60's and lives in the same Condo complex.  The 3 ladies we visit teach also live in the condo complex.  So it should be easy.  Right?!  Anyway, I called my partner lady... and she called back and we decided when we'd be able to teach our ladies.  I offered to call 2 of them and she offered to call the other one.  I was nervous like a 14 yr old girl calling her boy crush or something.  But fortunately both ladies didn't answer and I left voice mail messages-- I love that option after feeling so nervous!  Neither of them ever called me back.  And my partner lady talked to her lady and she was busy the rest of the week so that was a no go.  So here it is June 28th, with 2 more days left and I really don't like doing things at the end of the month because then the ladies might think I'm just trying to get it all done just to say that I did it.

But I'm a strong believer of visiting teaching and it has been a huge blessing in my life.  I totally support it!  Therefore I should be really good at it, right?

Anyway, my sister mentioned how her Visiting Teachers brought her a pack of Italian Ice things, and I thought that was fun-- something different from the usual plate of cookies... although who doesn't love cookies?!  I do.  :)  So I decided, regardless of what day of the month it was, and regardless of the fact that my ladies didn't ever call me back... I would at least take them something.

This past weekend was Stake Conference and it was a spiritual FEAST for me!  I totally loved it.  The theme was on the self-reliance and welfare and taking care of one another.  It was really powerful and strengthened my desire to serve others and really be a positive influence.  The Stake President shared a scripture from the Book of Mormon (Mosiah 4:26) and emphasized the fact that helping others isn't only a matter of meeting their needs... but sometimes their "wants", as it mentions in that verse.  I thought that was interesting, and I liked it.  So I decided to tie it all together in my treat and message for my ladies:

I bought each of them a box of chocolate Creamies.  Mmmm.

I wrote in a little note card for each of them, expressing my desire to get to know them and visit them (for real) some time soon.  I also included a message that went something like this:

(Mosiah 4:26) "I would that ye should impart of your substance to... every man... such as feeding the hungry... both spiritually and temporally, according to their wants."

(And underneath I wrote:)

"I know we may not need Creamies, but I think we all might want them every now and then.  Enjoy!"

But even still, I was super nervous to deliver them.  Seriously, a mission is so much easier because there are always 2 of you together!  When I knocked on the first door, I sat there wishing so badly I had a companion standing next to me.  (Oh, the memories of tracting and random crazy people behind those doors).  The first lady didn't answer, so as I was walking to the next apartment, I saw one of my ladies outside the condo, walking with her husband and little girl.

So why did I run up the stairs back to my apartment?!  Like, I literally ran away, when it was perfect timing to just walk up to her-- say hi like a normal human-- and present her with a box of Creamies and her little note.  I paced in my apartment and decided I'd just wait 'til later... but when I stepped back outside after a minute or so, she was still standing out there.  Oh for the love, Just Do It Bree.  So I did.  She saw me as I was coming down the stairs, and I called out cheerfully, "Hey, are you leaving are or you on your way home?"  At that point I already felt totally natural and comfortable and wasn't nervous at all.  She said she was home and I said, "Good! I have some Creamies for you!" and I bounced down the other flight of stairs to meet her.  We chatted for a minute and she apologized for not calling me back.  I apologized for being lame and not calling sooner, but assured her that I will be better and really want to come and visit her.  She often brings her little girl over to the playground, and my apartment window overlooks that area, so I can pretty much spy on any family that goes in there. :)  And they all notice Sadie (my dog) sitting or barking in the window, which is a hit for all the kids that play down there.  So... that's the connection I have with this lady. My dog that obsesses over any human form outside-- especially in the playground.  This lady was so nice and appreciative, and she's already mentioned that her Visiting Teachers before never really came, so I'm determined to change that for her.  Everyone needs a good Visiting Teacher!

Anyway, the other 2 ladies weren't home so I left their notes/envelopes in the door with an added message that I have a box of Creamies for them that I'll bring by another time.  So... my job isn't fully "finished" but I'm really glad I did something about it tonight so I can stop stressing and feeling so anxious about it.

It still boggles my mind that I felt so uneasy and inadequate in carrying out my Visiting Teaching responsibilities.  I think I do a pretty good job of making friends quickly and having normal, comfortable conversations.  So I just need to keep telling myself that.  Because just when you feel good about doing your Visiting Teaching and making a connection... it never ends.  It's a continual process of getting to know and love someone and being that person they can count on.

And if that is my only "calling" in life right now... then I better give it 100% and be awesome. :)

P.S.  I really want a calling in my new ward.  Like really bad.  But I'm trying to be patient...

Sanuk Shoes

I really want these shoes.

But after trying on Sanuks at various stores, I have discovered this sad reality:  My left foot wears a size 9 and my right foot wears a size 8!  It is terrible and so frustrating. I always knew my left foot was bigger than my right, but I just get a bigger size and my right foot deals with it.  But in these shoes they need to have a perfect fit because they're like "sandals" and you don't wear socks.

So.... does anyone have a RIGHT foot 9 and LEFT foot 8????  We can totally switch shoes and be happy forever.

*sigh*

Boot Camp Eating

When I'm trying to stay on a fitness kick I have to think of rewards to keep myself motivated. The big one is always new running shoes, which is rather expensive, so I have to work hard for them.  Well, as the days and weeks passed by and those shoes were waiting for me at the end of the tunnel, I realized my timing was a little off.  The Ragnar Wasatch Back was approaching, my current running shoes kept giving me blisters on my toe, and I needed better shoes to get me through that relay weekend. But I was still 5+ lbs from my weight goal and knew I wasn't going to make it in time to break the shoes in.

So I cheated and bought them anyway.

And they were more expensive than any other running shoe I've bought.  I stressed for days looking for the right shoes-- spending 45 min. in a running store with the experts; trying on shoe after shoe and running on the treadmill or the little path outside the store.  I was so indecisive and confused but I need new shoes ASAP so they would be ready for Ragnar.  So out of the blue I tried these on at 26.2 in Provo and loved them within the first 5 minutes.  Super quick and easy!  I didn't even look for a price or ask.  I just made the decision to buy them and I did.  And I knew I'd have to update my "goal" since I bought them  before I'd really earned them.

I gave myself 2 extra weeks--until Ragnar weekend-- to make it to my weight goal.  If I made it, good for me, I had the shoes.  If not, I had to be "punished"... and I made up this dumb consequence:

BOOT CAMP EATING PLAN FOR 2 WEEKS.

It comes from this book that I used at one point last year:

It's basically a day to day menu/eating plan with normal foods you  can find in any grocery store-- which I'm definitely okay with.  But it starts you off with a 2 week "boot camp" which allows you to have 1200 calories a day, more or less, and after the 2 weeks are up, you add a few more snacks in the day, etc... and eventually get to a "keep going" plan which helps you maintain any weight loss or keep losing.  Blah blah blah.  I'm not a diet person or even a super healthy person.  But this is the one thing that I've actually done before-- actually lost quite a few pounds-- and liked what I was eating... for the most part.  This time around I'm bending a few things to better suit my eating desires. :)

So there you have it!  I didn't make my goal prior to Ragnar so I started the dumb boot camp eating plan on Monday (June 20) and will continue  until Sunday July, 2.  (oooh, perfect for 4th of July BBQ timing!)  The main purpose is to punish myself for buying shoes earlier than I deserved them  :)  and also to lose those last few pounds I want to get rid of.  In the mean time, it IS helping me be a little healthier and more aware of all the crap I would usually be shoving into my mouth.

Example:  I'm taking a group of teens to a movie tomorrow and I love movie popcorn!  It will be my own personal torture to not eat popcorn in the theater.  I know, pathetic. :)  But I packed a little 1/2 cup of grapes and a bag of Triscuit Thins-- crossing my fingers that I won't fall apart and give in to ridiculous cravings!

Yesterday this is what I ate:  Kashi cereal with raspberries, leftovers of a 6 inch Subway (kind of cheating but I had it from the day before), and a spinach salad with hard-boiled eggs, light ranch, and pecans.  And 7 Triscuits. :)

Today I ate:  Clif bar for breakfast and 3/4 cup milk, 1/2 cup grapes for snack, Tuna salad sandwich with celery and lettuce on wheat bread, 1/2 cup sliced red pepper, and for dinner was green beans and macaroni & tomato juice--> My own little version of the pasta meal they wanted me to make but I simplified.

Anyway, see?  It's really not all that bad.  The hardest thing for me is the elimination of snacking opportunities. I love granola bars or fruit & peanut butter-- probably my favorite snacks.  And although I don't think those are terrible-- they just don't fit into the Boot Camp plan.  *sigh*

But I'm excited for tomorrow's breakfast!  Wheat toast with peanut butter, 2 teaspoons of honey, and apple slices.  YUM!  I can totally handle that... it's just the rest of the day that drags on and I feel soooo hungry and all I think about is food and wishing I could eat more.  

Any suggestions how to NOT think about food?! 

Man oh man, it's almost impossible!

Anyway... that's the update.  May the force be with me and may my hungry body learn to deal with the withdrawals. :)

Ragnar "Wasatch Back" Relay

It's not a surprise if you've seen this "Ragnar" logo before, especially if you live in Utah.  I swear everyone and their mom has this window decal on their car, it's almost annoying.  Mostly because it looks kind of creepy to me, like one of the images from "Moth Man Prophecies" or something.  It's just always kind of bothered me, but props to those people who run the 190+ mile race and earn the sticker.

This weekend I ran in the Wasatch Back Ragnar relay and earned my own sticker... and yes, I just might become one of those people and put it next to the "Red Rock Relay" decal on my car window.

The Ragnar relay series started 8 years ago and is exploding with participants.  In the race this weekend there were over 1400 teams, each with 6-12 people.  So picture thousands of people running between Logan, UT and Park City, UT, in decorated vehicles and some with crazy costumes.  It was like we were living on our own little obsessive running planet, and I really did enjoy it.    

I did my first relay this past fall in St. George, which was a Red Rock relay.  It was only their 2 year doing it and a smaller race, with 300-500 teams.  So I really wanted to go into the Ragnar experience with an open heart and mind and not be biased against it. :)  My friend Robyn Gadd (we knew each other at BYU) asked me to join her Ragnar team over 8 months ago, and I didn't tell her YES officially, until after I did Red Rock and decided I liked that crazy idea.  So!  Time flew, I took like 4 months off running during the winter, and really tried to crack down and prepare myself the past few months.  I'm not up to par but I'm in a much better place than I was in January. :)

Our team was "Leap Frog" and we had super cute shirts and had a lot of fun with the "green" theme.  It was easy to find all sorts of things in March after St. Patrick's Day-- wigs, tights, glow-bracelets, froggy things, etc.  We had a good-spirited team, great captain, and all of us were in it for the fun of it.  

Fortunately, I think I had the easiest legs of the entire race, so I lucked out!  My first run was 5.1 miles around 1:30pm; second run was 4.2 miles around 11:00pm; and my third leg was 3.8 miles (fabulous downhill) around 11:00am.  Some runners had crazy, deathly uphill runs in the dirt;  others had long 8+ mile runs.  So yes, I'm glad I escaped with the easy ones. :)  And I loved it!  Here are a few pics to add some color to my story. :)

Okay, so now let me tell you about my Night Run.  It seems to be most everyone's favorite-- probably because it's not every day you're running freely under the stars and loving every minute of it. I ran hard and fast and was doing really well keeping up to my projected pace/time.  At one point I saw my van parked on the side of the road (they do that every now and then to check up on you) and as one of my teammates was getting back in the van, I yelled out, "I'm good!" and kept running, waving my glow bracelets excitedly.  Usually the team cheers as you pass and then they drive on ahead.  Only this time they didn't acknowledge me and didn't respond to what I'd said.  I thought, "Hmm.. I wonder if they even saw me?"  But kept running and I was listening to some good songs that kept me running faster than I probably wanted to.  It felt great though so I kept going, all the while turning my head at every vehicle that passed by, wondering why my van still hadn't come.  By the time I started getting closer to the exchange, I was frustrated and disappointed because I realized my van probably hadn't seen me run past and had waited too long in the same spot.  I debated running slower just so maybe they could catch up, but I decided to just keep going, even if it was just for the mere satisfaction of getting a good time on 4.2 miles. :)  So I sprint through the exchange  cone area-- they call out my team number-- and no one is there to pass the "baton" slap bracelet to.  I take it off my wrist and pace angrily back and forth, and there were a few other runners whose teams weren't there either.  What a let down!

This SAME thing happened to me on my night run in the Red Rock relay last fall... only that time everyone in the van had actually fallen asleep and missed the exchange.  So I literally had to run back a few minutes to the van-- knock on the window to wake them up-- and get that next runner out and going!  That was unfortunate.

And here I was again.  Midnight. Sweaty.  Exhausted.  Waiting for my van.   Luckily the van showed up a few minutes later and my teammate came running up to me, apologizing and everything, and I slapped the bracelet on her and sent her on her way. :)  I was upset for maybe the first couple of minutes, but after that it was fine and I was over it.  (Well, maybe I'm not all the way over it but I still like my teammates. haha)

 (I was SO tired before my night run, but luckily I found some energy!)

 Me and my teammate Emily, who was actually my BYU roommate 10 years ago! :)

I got the Ragnar symbol spray-painted on my leg.  I chose orange, of course!

Now for the story of My Wallet. It was during the leg of the last runner in our van that I realized I couldn't find my wallet.  I looked everywhere around me in the car and knew it had been on my lap earlier.  So how could it have just disappeared?!  Then I remembered that I had jumped out of the van so our runner could pass me his water bottle during his run... which means... my wallet had fallen out of the van!  It was after mid-night and it was a windy mountain road swarming with runners and other vans.  Great.  Fortunately, once my team had learned their lesson with me of not losing track of mileage and the runner, we were paying close attention to those details.  We remembered that we'd stopped at mile 4 of the current run to give our runner the water bottle, and met him a little further ahead so he could give it back-- which is when I would have jumped out.  When I'd realized I'd lost my wallet, we were about 3 miles further up ahead. So!  It wasn't too complicating going exactly 3 miles back to the "4 mile mark" to backtrack where we'd been.  Only there were runners coming towards us and vans making their way up the mountain and it was kind of a hassle to get back down there-- luckily we didn't run over anyone. :)  As we drove back down I stared at the road, looking for any sign of my wallet.  Once we reached our destination I hadn't seen anything and was feeling a little disappointed.  We turned around and started back uphill, and after just a minute or so the driver suddenly stopped in front of a small lump in the road.  My wallet! And everything was in it. I was sooo happy... and that momentous occasion kind of wiped away the memories of my team leaving me stranded at the exchange. :)

This was the view while I was waiting to run my last leg.  Soo pretty!

My third and last leg was definitely my favorite.  Although my foot was hurting (maybe it was my new shoes?), I was excited to bust out a good 3.8 mile run, and most of it was downhill into Heber Valley.  As soon as I started running I was behind and older man, probably in his late 60's.  I passed him, and a few minutes later he passed me.  Then I passed him again... and he passed me again.  What was going on?!  Was he really that competitive that he couldn't let me stay ahead?  Maybe it was because the back of our shirts said, "Tag, You're It."  :)  Well anyway,  finally we evened out and ran side by side.  He kept talking to me so I'd have to take out one of my ear buds so I could hear and respond, then put it back in.  Then he'd say something else and I'd pull out my ear bud, and this continued for a while.  Finally I just kept one ear bud in and tucked the other one in my shirt, and decided to enjoy running and talking with this man on my last run.  We kept up a good fast pace and I loved busting it downhill!  It finally evened out on the highway, and the very end of our leg was a steep dirt hill that lead to the exchange.  It would've been fun to arrive there side by side with my old man friend, but I decided to push it harder at the end and pulled ahead of him.  Should I feel bad?  I don't know. :)  Anyway, I was exhausted after that little hill and really slowed down, but finally sprinted to the exchange and felt wonderful!!  I waited there to greet my friend and gave him a *high 5* when he got there a few minutes later.  I loved that!  :)

We were in the first van, so luckily we were all finished around 1:30pm Saturday afternoon and had the whole day to RELAX while we waited for the second van to run their final legs.  We went to Granny's Drive-in in Heber and devoured milk shakes, fries, and burgers.  So tasty!  Then we drove to Park City where we took random pictures, laid out our blankets, and basically napped most of the day. :)

The rest of our team arrived after 5:30pm and we all joined together to wait for our last and final runner!  It took us 32 hours and 27 minutes to officially finish the Wasatch Back relay. We were exhausted, hungry, and so happy to be finished!

And yes, I did earn a medal and a Ragnar window decal.  :)

I'm Probably Not Married Because... :)

So.  One day Cassity and I were looking through all my pictures dating back to a few years ago, and it was embarrassing how many I came across that were downright embarrassing...and ridiculous that I ever allowed myself to look that way.  It was like a flashing light bulb dinging above my head, screaming, "Duh!!  No Wonder You're Not Married!!!"  And that made it all the more enjoyable.  :)

So this is my tribute to being single, not because I want it that way, but because my lack of awareness has made it that way.  (Ohhh... bless my heart.)

#1.  First Date With A Set-Up Guy.  Do NOT Wear a 

Nasty Looking Headband Such as the One in This Picture.

Luckily I wasn't madly in love with this guy, so I guess looking back on it now, it wasn't such a bad risk.  But really, how many more times did I wear that headband thinking it was socially okay?  

#2.  Maybe Some Guys Just Aren't Fans of Tie-dye Shirts?

I really actually liked this guy.  Only he lives in Arizona so it was like any time we spent together was a random weekend spaced apart by 3-6 months.  Maybe I should have "primped" more for the hike?  Naaah.

#3. Head Sweatband. Need I Say More?

Okay.  I had THE biggest crush on this guy.  Like, huge.  I was excited he wanted to wear my extra headband.  But is that even cool that I had an extra headband?  And at least 10 more at home?  *siiiigh*

#4.  Never Wear This On a Date.  Or For Your 30th Birthday Party. Also, Never Let Your Hair Look like That.  Gross!

I seriously ask myself:  "What made it okay in my mind that night to wear that outfit to celebrate 

turning 30 AND to spend time with the boy I really really liked?!?  (in the background)  

It shouldn't surprise me that my little fling ended a month later.  Man oh man... 

Here's to being 30... pit stains and all!  (Hey boys!  Who wants to date me now?!)

#5.  What.  Am I Intimidating?  Is it the Bandanna?

Side note:  The bandanna will never leave.  That is here to stay. :)

#6.  Am I Too Strong and Independent?

I promise I want the help and support of a man in my life!  But props to Rosie the Riveter. :)

#7.  Maybe it's the Morning Hair...

#8.  I Love Hot Dogs.  Like... A Lot.  

And I Always Want More Than Just One!

Take me on a date?  I would much rather eat 2 hot dogs than some fancy meal, and maybe that makes it lame for the guy.  I have the taste buds of a 5 year old and don't like herbs and spices or other seasoned things. :)

#9.  Cooking For A Boy

There was a cute boy at our apartment one time and Cassity suggested I make him something to eat.  (Way to put me on the spot!)  So rather than try to impress him, I just went for something that sounded good to me.  Spaghetti... plus chicken nuggets.  And you break up the nuggets and add them to the spaghetti.  Woa-lah.  DeLICIous!  I think I told him about my funny eating habits.  Really could've scored bigger points on that one had I chosen to do something different.  Oh well.  I still love my spaghetti nugget concoction. :)

#10.  Don't Barf On A Date

I was on a hike to Stuart Falls with one of the boys previously mentioned. Everything was fine until we reached the water falls.  As he climbed and jumped around the rocks, I sat with my head between my legs and felt super dizzy and light-headed.  He waited a long time and was super patient.  Finally we started the hike back down and about half way through I turned to the side of the trail and barfed.  A lot.  I was still barfing when some other hikers passed and this guy friend of mine just had to act natural like "Doo da doo... no problems here... all is well."  I felt absolutely crappy and didn't care about boys at that moment. 

So, those are my top 10 things that really stand out.  I'm sure I can think of hundreds more as to why I have remained single after all these years.  But some of those are probably a little more depressing and damaging to my self-esteem, so we'll just stop there.  But really!  It's all good and it makes me laugh.  Now when another person says enthusiastically with total sincerity, "I don't know how you're not married yet?!"  I'll just review some of the points in this post and they'll understand. :)  

The good news is I went on a date tonight and feel like I handled myself pretty well.  There is still hope!

Fitness Goal Tracking...

I'm a very visual person.  (I once said, "I'm a very visionary person" and yeah, that's not what I meant.)  Anyway!  I like hands-on things to look at and check off, likes "To-Do Lists" for example.  Or I even like vacuuming or doing the dishes because there's immediate gratification in the results.  So I'm going to explain this "goal made real by visuals"... but let me back up first.

I was at the vet with my dog a couple weeks ago and the Dr. told me Sadie was overweight.  He said she should weigh 3 lbs less than she does now, which is equivalent to a human losing 30 lbs.  Not gonna happen overnight! But he reduced the amount of food we give her daily, ruled out all human food, and said to replace frequent doggy treats with carrots or frozen beans.  Poor Sadie!  So that very day we cracked down and haven't given her any human food (except for a piece of pizza she stole) and she's still kickin'.  The first few nights she was sniffing around everywhere, trying to eat up crumbs from cracks in the tile, scratching at the fridge door, etc.  That was sad... but I couldn't break down and give her a treat. I'm making her strong. :)

So this made me think: "Wait!  Why don't I do the same thing?!  If Sadie has to do it, I can do it."  And that's what inspired me to create my fitness journal.  Only I don't call it that because I don't want other people to see this 3 ring binder that says, "Bree's Eating & Exercise Habits" on it.  I keep it low key and neutral, but fun enough to be happy and not something I come to hate.  :)

This isn't a very good pic but it shows you the front of my binder.  I love "Life is Good" anything.

Each page can fit 2 days on it and they're printed on both sides.

Saves lots of space and you can add pages as needed.

Here's a portion of one half of a page... aka... one day.  I like the flexibility of each day, meaning I don't HAVE to do certain work-outs or eat certain things.  I just simply write down what I did.  I added the "strength training" section to remind me to do simple things that I usually avoid or forget to do.

I weigh myself every morning, record it and compare it to my goal weight.  I'm one who plays games with myself and have to motivate myself to do things.  Right now my "goal prize" is new running shoes when I get down to my goal weight.  I'm fluctuating way too much lately to feel like I'm making any kind of progress! But hopefully I'll be able to shave off those last 5 lbs quickly.

These are snippets from two of my days last week.  I like my "comments" section because I can look back and be reminded of good meals, good strategies, good workouts, etc.  Or of course some negative things too!  I'm really good about whining every now and then. :)

Anyway, I've actually really enjoyed being so diligent in recording my eating/exercise each day.  I bring my binder to work with me and jot down little notes throughout the day.  It helps me keep track of how much water I drink throughout the day, which is something I'm trying to be better about.  It's exciting to write down notes after a hard work-out or a healthy lunch, etc.  So far this is working for me and I think I'll stick to it!  

If anyone wants a copy of this for themselves, I'll gladly e-mail you a copy and you can tweak it however you want to fit your needs.  Yay for goals and actually doing something about it.

Here are a few pics of my friends and I after our 5K run at Wheeler Farm this morning. It was a fun course-- super cold at 7am-- but a good time.  I have yet to break out of the 29min. window for my 5K's but I'm determined to do it in my next one.  I don't claim to be a fast runner.  I pretty much run a  9 1/2-10min mile. But oh how I want to beat that dang 29 minutes.

Me with my trusty roommate, Cassity, and her sister Crystal.  Don't worry-- that's a water bottle in 

Crystal's shirt.  P.S.  Crystal is running on my Red Rock team in September.  Hooray!

 I couldn't resist this great picture-taking opportunity!  :)

That's my life in a nutshell.  The same 'ol same 'ol.  Running... goals... trying to reach my goals... random fun times with friends... and other stuff.  Life is good.  Yep.  I'm okay with it right now.