You guessed it. It's another video. That's what I do these days...
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Ulcerative Colitis: MY STORY (Part 2)
If you're just coming upon this story for the first time, be sure to read PART 1 before continuing. And if you've read Part 1 already... welcome back! :)
So 2 1/2 months after being diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis, I had to move back home to PA. My bowels were not healing well and the Arthritic pain was too much for me to handle. The plan was for me to see our family doctor, take advantage of health benefits from my dad's insurance, and hopefully get better. Honestly, I thought I'd be back out to Utah in a month or two and certainly did not think of this as a permanent move.
But let me back up a little. After the initial diagnosis, I learned that there was no set "list" of foods to eat or avoid. The doctor told me it was more of a trial and error process, and I would learn what I should avoid. In the beginning, I noticed salad would go right through me and end up floating in the toilet. So in my mind, I had to check off lettuce. Carrots were definitely a no-go (major poop afterward), and corn was a doozy. It seemed like most vegetables just went right through me and I never felt good afterward. Instead, I ate a lot of rice and oatmeal. I think these were on the "safe to eat" suggestion list, but knowing what I know now... that's weird. I remember I would make bowls of rice and mix in ketchup. And I ate it a lot. I also craved hamburgers like no other. I would wake up in the morning and all I could think about was HAMBURGER!!!
So anyway, I was back in Pennsylvania. I had lost a significant amount of weight and it was exciting to have to buy new clothes of a smaller size. If people made the comment, "Oh wow, you look so thin!" I'd respond with something like, "Hey thanks, I've been sick." :) I was not happy to be in Pennsylvania, nor did I want to plant myself there. I was not eager to become involved in the church YSA social scene and kind of kept to myself. In the beginning, I was still pretty sick and I would get Arthritic pain all throughout my body. It was most commonly in my fingers and wrists, but also in my knees. I remember just a few weeks after being home-- Thanksgiving Day-- I was hobbling up and down the stairs and limping around the house because it hurt so bad. Not fun!
I had been home for about a month and a half... and somewhere in there my mindset shifted. I realized that I probably wasn't going back out to Utah any time soon, and that made me frustrated and sad. I didn't really even give my Utah life a proper good-bye, but literally just packed up and left all in 3 days. It felt totally incomplete and I had wanted to stay there. But alas, I started looking for full-time jobs in PA and landed the perfect job for me: YMCA Youth Sports & Camp Director. The CEO of the York YMCA lived across the street and we had good connections; I was excited to work in a field directly related to my major. I would run the entire summer camp (200+ kids) and organize and run the youth sports throughout the school year. Needless to say... I didn't go back out to Utah. In fact, I worked at the YMCA for almost 4 years, with each year adding on more and more responsibilities. It gave me great exposure to the recreation field, as well as working with teens of all kinds of crazy backgrounds. I loved it.
So 2 1/2 months after being diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis, I had to move back home to PA. My bowels were not healing well and the Arthritic pain was too much for me to handle. The plan was for me to see our family doctor, take advantage of health benefits from my dad's insurance, and hopefully get better. Honestly, I thought I'd be back out to Utah in a month or two and certainly did not think of this as a permanent move.
But let me back up a little. After the initial diagnosis, I learned that there was no set "list" of foods to eat or avoid. The doctor told me it was more of a trial and error process, and I would learn what I should avoid. In the beginning, I noticed salad would go right through me and end up floating in the toilet. So in my mind, I had to check off lettuce. Carrots were definitely a no-go (major poop afterward), and corn was a doozy. It seemed like most vegetables just went right through me and I never felt good afterward. Instead, I ate a lot of rice and oatmeal. I think these were on the "safe to eat" suggestion list, but knowing what I know now... that's weird. I remember I would make bowls of rice and mix in ketchup. And I ate it a lot. I also craved hamburgers like no other. I would wake up in the morning and all I could think about was HAMBURGER!!!
So anyway, I was back in Pennsylvania. I had lost a significant amount of weight and it was exciting to have to buy new clothes of a smaller size. If people made the comment, "Oh wow, you look so thin!" I'd respond with something like, "Hey thanks, I've been sick." :) I was not happy to be in Pennsylvania, nor did I want to plant myself there. I was not eager to become involved in the church YSA social scene and kind of kept to myself. In the beginning, I was still pretty sick and I would get Arthritic pain all throughout my body. It was most commonly in my fingers and wrists, but also in my knees. I remember just a few weeks after being home-- Thanksgiving Day-- I was hobbling up and down the stairs and limping around the house because it hurt so bad. Not fun!
So leave it up to my Idaho farmer dad to give me some gel that is used to soothe arthritic pain in HORSES. Haha! Thanks Dad. But I really did use the stuff. It looked like like Aloe Vera gel, only it smelled like mint, and then my skin would feel really cold and tingly. I guess it did kind of distract me from the pain and I applied it every night before going to bed.
In the mean time, I had met with our family doctor and I he started me on a new pill. I was always taking Prednisone (a strong steroid with not-so-good side effects if taken for long periods of time), paired with some other pill. I got off the pointless 16-a-day pill and started on something called Immuran. Prednisone was a doozy. One of the side effects is called "moon face"... where your face basically becomes bloated and weird. So after a while, my face was really puffy and it made my eyes extra squinty. When a friend of mine came to visit, she said she hardly recognized me. That's sad. You have to wean slowly off of Prednisone and the process takes forever long. And sometimes when I was half-way weaned off and I had a big "flare-up" (the diarrhea kicks in drastically)... I'd have to immediately increase the Prednisone again and start back at square 1. It was exhausting.
During that time, I was working a temp job at the hospital (sorting X-rays in the creepy basement) and I just remember driving there early in the morning, listening to Avril Lavine's "Complicated" album over and over again. Now any time I hear any of those Avril songs, I think of the days of being sick in PA. :) However, I was slowly starting to feel better. I remember on any "good day" (when I didn't feel arthritic pain), I felt like I had to really celebrate and take advantage of my health. So I went rollerblading a lot in my neighborhood (it was low impact and the easy gliding didn't cause any pain)... and I also took our dog for walks.
 |
| Super old pic, but you get the idea. |
My condition didn't really effect me in the job environment... other than frequent trips to the bathroom throughout the day. I do remember having a hard time with running or exercising. I really wanted to be a runner and worked out in the gym at the YMCA... but as soon as I'd finish my workout, I'd sit on the toilet with killer abdominal pains for a long time. I remember just sitting there hunched over in the stall, sweat dripping everywhere, but unable to move from the toilet until feeling totally relieved. I learned that maybe running wasn't the best thing for me-- at least not at the time.
At some point the doctor put me on a new pill called Sulfasalazine. I was on this pill for quite a while, but the whole time I was also on Prednisone-- still. Then that summer (I forget the timing of it all, or how long I was on the Sulfa drug)... my mom and I went on a beach trip with friends in our ward. I had just recently weaned all the way off of Prednisone, and that weekend I completely broke out into hives. Not only was it ITCHY and miserable, but it looked hideous! I remember looking down at my legs and gasping because I honestly looked like some X-Men creature or something. Purply-pink scaly hives all over my legs, stomach, arms, etc. Awesome way to sport the swimsuit, eh? UGH. So this mystery was a weird one... and they finally figured out that I HAD BEEN ALLERGIC TO SULFA THE ENTIRE TIME... but the symptoms never surfaced because the Prednisone was keeping it all in check for those many months of taking it. It wasn't until the Prednisone was out of my system that the SULFA drug really attacked me. Sheesh!!! My poor body. So that was the end of SULFA and on all my medical charts it says I'm allergic to SULFA. No more hives, please.
My next drug choice was Asacol, which seemed to be good and I did those 3-month order things and had tons of them on hand.
Somewhere in all of this mess I decided to serve a mission! :) Some people had assumed I hadn't gone on a mission earlier because of all my health problems, and honestly... that had nothing to do with it. I just never really felt like I wanted to go. But in that time of living at home in PA (by the way, I eventually embraced the YSA crowd and totally LOVED IT)...I spent a lot of time with the sister missionaries-- huge inspirations-- and really quite suddenly decided I wanted to serve a mission. I figured I wouldn't go foreign because my bowels would have exploded with those kinds of issues... and I was delighted to find out I was called to the Washington Spokane mission. YAY!!! I was 27 when I left on my mission. It was perfect.
I was completely BLESSED as a missionary and felt better in those 18 months than I had ever felt before! I knew it was a special miracle from Heavenly Father as I served him with all my heart, mind, and strength. Of course I still had my bathroom moments, and it was a joke with all my companions that I was in the bathroom way too often... but it wasn't anything ridiculous or unbearable.
Towards the end of my mission, in my last transfer, I started having weird poops. I was so nervous and scared that I would get really sick again. It was like this secret curse sneaking up on me because my mission time was almost up. I had to go in an get an ultrasound (again, I was nervous!) but I was surrounded by good and loving members who loved me and offered great comfort and support. There wasn't anything terribly wrong and the ultrasound came back clear. I finished out the mission and felt good about everything.
In all these years-- it had been about 6-7 years since my initial diagnosis-- I was eating pretty regular. I still avoided carrots and corn if I could (although I love both)... and salad often went straight to the toilet. But for the most part I was "normal" and ate pretty much whatever I wanted.
I will save the rest for a 3rd and final blog post about my story... the "post-mission" years... and bring you up to date with my current status-- the whole reason why I brought this all up in the first place! *Cheers*
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Ulcerative Colitis: MY STORY (part 1)
I want to write about some random health things as of late, but in order to do that, I need to go back about 10 years. Hold on to your hats and get excited. Not really... but I'm sure maybe you're about to learn something new about me!
Before I delve into my own story, I want to give huge props to my younger sister, Heather, who is still dealing with various health problems that have yet to be healed. Here's a link to a blog post she did to kick of the new year: Heather's Story... that can give you a quick update if you're out of the loop. Having to watch Heather suffer in pain, frustration, and confusion has made me overlook a lot of my own issues, as they pale in comparison to her health mysteries.
Nevertheless, I do have my story and I'd like to share it. For no other purpose than to give you new insight on who I am, where I've been, and hopefully where I'm going. :) This is my story-- Part 1!
Disclaimer: This story relates to my diagnosis of Ulcerative Colitis (ulcers in the intestines). There will clearly be mention of "poop" and other digestive issues, so if you can't handle that... stop reading now. :)
It was the summer of 2002 and I was in my last months at BYU. I was scheduled to graduate in August after completing my final internship. Life was good. I was living with my sister Brittney in a condo, interning at the Boys & Girls Club in Provo, and working at Jamba Juice. I was excited to graduate with a degree in Recreation Management & Youth Leadership and pictured myself getting a super cool job in Utah, working in the outdoors like Aspen Grove or something. My future looked good and I was sporty and active.
At that time, all my favorite foods were complete junk: hot dogs, macaroni & cheese, grilled cheese sandwiches, fast food, pizza, HOSTESS HO-HO's, cookies, donuts, and so on. What am I saying, those are STILL all over my favorite foods! No wonder I have issues.
Anyway, throughout the summer of 2002 I started noticing some issues. I had major diarrhea all the time. I was often stuck on the toilet for so long, I'd be more than 30 minutes late to work. Sometimes it was like clock-work: I'd show up to work, but at the exact time every day, I'd have this huge rush of diarrhea come and had to ask to be excused to the bathroom... which often took longer than a normal human would need for a "potty break." It was ridiculous. At one point I noticed blood in my poop. It was marbled through, like the poop I remember finding from my dog after she ate a crayon or something. This was weird and rather alarming to me. When I finally mentioned it to Brittney, her response was something like, "Uhhh... that's not normal! You need to get that checked out." I continued to do my thing throughout the summer and live on the toilet. I even joined the Provo summer book club because I had nothing better to do than read books on the toilet! It was my second home and I went through toilet paper like crazy.
Are you loving this yet? :)
Well finally my parents came into town for my BYU graduation-- the week of August 26th-- and in that same week, we scheduled some blood tests, poop tests, and a colonoscopy. Happy graduation to me! I wasn't sure what to expect or what the results might be. After the colonoscopy they took me to my grandma's house, where I was totally passed out on the couch for who knows how long. The funny thing is I finally woke up when everyone was gone, and all I found was a paper on the kitchen counter that said "CROHN'S DISEASE" in big, bold letters. What?! What is that?! What is going on?! I kind of panicked. I had no idea what that was, but anything with "disease" in it doesn't sound good. There was also a paper with a list of all the foods one should avoid, which certainly included all of my favorites. My heart sank. I think I literally had the thought process: "No hot dogs or Ho-Ho's?!" Haha... my biggest worries.
I'm not sure how everything played out from there, but eventually the rest of the fam showed up, we went to dinner at Applebee's, and I was on my way to... I didn't really know where. I guess I was just glad there was a name to all of my problems.
Crohn's Disease: a chronic inflammatory disease of the intestines, especially the colon and ileum.
This disease can effect anywhere from the small intestines, large intestines, or even up into the esophagus. I had a little friend in PA that was suffering from Crohn's Disease, but her case was much worse than mine. She was in and out of the hospital frequently and really had some issues. It was sad. And we suddenly shared something in common.
Well somewhere down the road, the doctors decided I didn't have Crohn's Disease, which I guess was a good thing. Instead, they diagnosed me with Ulcerative Colitis.
Ulcerative Colitis: a serious chronic inflammatory disease of the large intestine and rectum.
As I understand it, Crohn's has the potential to really destroy you from the bottom up (no pun intended)... but Ulcerative Colitis resides mainly in the large intestine. And that keyword "chronic" was a bummer to me-- this was something that would never go away, but was going to be something I'd deal with my whole life.
*sigh* Hello poop.
The good thing is I've never had serious abdominal cramping, fevers, or other common symptoms. I can function pretty normally, although I have definitely had my moments of poop and diarrhea! Shortly after all this came about, I went on a date with a guy I really liked at BYU. He was like my BFF boy and we had so much fun together. One night after going to a play, I excused myself to the bathroom. Yeah... I was in there for 30+ minutes, no joke. I walked out sheepishly when I returned and I was just relieved it was HIM waiting there for me, and not some new guy.
So this was the plan. I was on medication to keep the diarrhea under control and to try to strengthen my immune system, digestive walls, and eliminate the ulcers just clinging to my intestines. I took 16 pills every day (4 pills, 4 x/day)... but the little beads inside the pellets would just come straight through me and end up in the toilet. It was annoying. My dad told me it was essential for me to find a full-time job with benefits so I could have insurance for my medications. OR ELSE. Or else?! Yeah... or else I'd have to leave Utah and move home to Pennsylvania where I could utilize my dad's insurance. That was the last thing I wanted to do.
I started working at Kiddie Kandids that fall, while still working at the Boys & Girls Club. No insurance yet but was working towards a full-time position. A couple months went by until November showed up....
I'd spent the night at my friend's house and when I woke up in the morning, it felt like I'd broken my hand. It was so painful and I was super confused how it literally came out of nowhere. Overnight. Did I hit my hand against the wall or something? I couldn't grip anything, unbutton my pants, squeeze anything, etc. Tons of pain. The next day I woke up with more pain, only this time it had spread to my wrist... and the next day the pain was up to my shoulder. It was really strange, but more than anything, it was maddening. I couldn't function! I could barely get dressed and held my arm in a sling against my body because the pain was so intense. After a few days, I asked my grandma if she could take me to the doctor. I hadn't showered and felt completely disgusting after those days of pain and helplessness. The doctor informed me that I had a case of Arthritis, which was often a side effect of Ulcerative Colitis. Uhhh. random?!
Arthritis: painful inflammation and stiffness of the joints.
It made no sense to me at all, but the doctor didn't seem to be surprised. They added a new medication to my load that was supposed to help the arthritic pain subside. I remember calling home and crying to my mom over the phone. I couldn't take care of myself. I couldn't lift my arms. I couldn't do anything. And I just sat there in my pity party of pain. She suggested that maybe I needed to move home to recover and gain my health back with good doctors they knew of in PA. That was the LAST thing I wanted to do!
Three days later, I was packed up (as much as I could be) and on a plane to Pennsylvania...
TO BE CONTINUED... :)
Before I delve into my own story, I want to give huge props to my younger sister, Heather, who is still dealing with various health problems that have yet to be healed. Here's a link to a blog post she did to kick of the new year: Heather's Story... that can give you a quick update if you're out of the loop. Having to watch Heather suffer in pain, frustration, and confusion has made me overlook a lot of my own issues, as they pale in comparison to her health mysteries.
Nevertheless, I do have my story and I'd like to share it. For no other purpose than to give you new insight on who I am, where I've been, and hopefully where I'm going. :) This is my story-- Part 1!
Disclaimer: This story relates to my diagnosis of Ulcerative Colitis (ulcers in the intestines). There will clearly be mention of "poop" and other digestive issues, so if you can't handle that... stop reading now. :)
It was the summer of 2002 and I was in my last months at BYU. I was scheduled to graduate in August after completing my final internship. Life was good. I was living with my sister Brittney in a condo, interning at the Boys & Girls Club in Provo, and working at Jamba Juice. I was excited to graduate with a degree in Recreation Management & Youth Leadership and pictured myself getting a super cool job in Utah, working in the outdoors like Aspen Grove or something. My future looked good and I was sporty and active.
At that time, all my favorite foods were complete junk: hot dogs, macaroni & cheese, grilled cheese sandwiches, fast food, pizza, HOSTESS HO-HO's, cookies, donuts, and so on. What am I saying, those are STILL all over my favorite foods! No wonder I have issues.
Anyway, throughout the summer of 2002 I started noticing some issues. I had major diarrhea all the time. I was often stuck on the toilet for so long, I'd be more than 30 minutes late to work. Sometimes it was like clock-work: I'd show up to work, but at the exact time every day, I'd have this huge rush of diarrhea come and had to ask to be excused to the bathroom... which often took longer than a normal human would need for a "potty break." It was ridiculous. At one point I noticed blood in my poop. It was marbled through, like the poop I remember finding from my dog after she ate a crayon or something. This was weird and rather alarming to me. When I finally mentioned it to Brittney, her response was something like, "Uhhh... that's not normal! You need to get that checked out." I continued to do my thing throughout the summer and live on the toilet. I even joined the Provo summer book club because I had nothing better to do than read books on the toilet! It was my second home and I went through toilet paper like crazy.
Are you loving this yet? :)
Well finally my parents came into town for my BYU graduation-- the week of August 26th-- and in that same week, we scheduled some blood tests, poop tests, and a colonoscopy. Happy graduation to me! I wasn't sure what to expect or what the results might be. After the colonoscopy they took me to my grandma's house, where I was totally passed out on the couch for who knows how long. The funny thing is I finally woke up when everyone was gone, and all I found was a paper on the kitchen counter that said "CROHN'S DISEASE" in big, bold letters. What?! What is that?! What is going on?! I kind of panicked. I had no idea what that was, but anything with "disease" in it doesn't sound good. There was also a paper with a list of all the foods one should avoid, which certainly included all of my favorites. My heart sank. I think I literally had the thought process: "No hot dogs or Ho-Ho's?!" Haha... my biggest worries.
I'm not sure how everything played out from there, but eventually the rest of the fam showed up, we went to dinner at Applebee's, and I was on my way to... I didn't really know where. I guess I was just glad there was a name to all of my problems.
Crohn's Disease: a chronic inflammatory disease of the intestines, especially the colon and ileum.
This disease can effect anywhere from the small intestines, large intestines, or even up into the esophagus. I had a little friend in PA that was suffering from Crohn's Disease, but her case was much worse than mine. She was in and out of the hospital frequently and really had some issues. It was sad. And we suddenly shared something in common.
Well somewhere down the road, the doctors decided I didn't have Crohn's Disease, which I guess was a good thing. Instead, they diagnosed me with Ulcerative Colitis.
Ulcerative Colitis: a serious chronic inflammatory disease of the large intestine and rectum.
As I understand it, Crohn's has the potential to really destroy you from the bottom up (no pun intended)... but Ulcerative Colitis resides mainly in the large intestine. And that keyword "chronic" was a bummer to me-- this was something that would never go away, but was going to be something I'd deal with my whole life.
*sigh* Hello poop.
The good thing is I've never had serious abdominal cramping, fevers, or other common symptoms. I can function pretty normally, although I have definitely had my moments of poop and diarrhea! Shortly after all this came about, I went on a date with a guy I really liked at BYU. He was like my BFF boy and we had so much fun together. One night after going to a play, I excused myself to the bathroom. Yeah... I was in there for 30+ minutes, no joke. I walked out sheepishly when I returned and I was just relieved it was HIM waiting there for me, and not some new guy.
So this was the plan. I was on medication to keep the diarrhea under control and to try to strengthen my immune system, digestive walls, and eliminate the ulcers just clinging to my intestines. I took 16 pills every day (4 pills, 4 x/day)... but the little beads inside the pellets would just come straight through me and end up in the toilet. It was annoying. My dad told me it was essential for me to find a full-time job with benefits so I could have insurance for my medications. OR ELSE. Or else?! Yeah... or else I'd have to leave Utah and move home to Pennsylvania where I could utilize my dad's insurance. That was the last thing I wanted to do.
I started working at Kiddie Kandids that fall, while still working at the Boys & Girls Club. No insurance yet but was working towards a full-time position. A couple months went by until November showed up....
I'd spent the night at my friend's house and when I woke up in the morning, it felt like I'd broken my hand. It was so painful and I was super confused how it literally came out of nowhere. Overnight. Did I hit my hand against the wall or something? I couldn't grip anything, unbutton my pants, squeeze anything, etc. Tons of pain. The next day I woke up with more pain, only this time it had spread to my wrist... and the next day the pain was up to my shoulder. It was really strange, but more than anything, it was maddening. I couldn't function! I could barely get dressed and held my arm in a sling against my body because the pain was so intense. After a few days, I asked my grandma if she could take me to the doctor. I hadn't showered and felt completely disgusting after those days of pain and helplessness. The doctor informed me that I had a case of Arthritis, which was often a side effect of Ulcerative Colitis. Uhhh. random?!
Arthritis: painful inflammation and stiffness of the joints.
It made no sense to me at all, but the doctor didn't seem to be surprised. They added a new medication to my load that was supposed to help the arthritic pain subside. I remember calling home and crying to my mom over the phone. I couldn't take care of myself. I couldn't lift my arms. I couldn't do anything. And I just sat there in my pity party of pain. She suggested that maybe I needed to move home to recover and gain my health back with good doctors they knew of in PA. That was the LAST thing I wanted to do!
Three days later, I was packed up (as much as I could be) and on a plane to Pennsylvania...
TO BE CONTINUED... :)
Automatic Car Wash!
When you serve a mission, it's the little things that bring you much pleasure!! Meet one of my favorite mission companions, Asher SHANER. This was us post-mission in Moab.
Okay, so every preparation day we had to wash our car, and there we were in the small town of Cheney, Washington. I always loved this activity because we'd go get food somewhere and eat it in the car during the car wash. Then we'd choose our favorite mission-appropriate song that was a little more upbeat and rock out. You do what you can, with what you have! :) I've always been a fan of automatic car washes, but doing this little routine with Shaner made me love it even more. It's like a therapeutic thing now!
I still love automatic car wash therapy!
A few weeks ago I decided to embrace the solo moment and make a music video. Yes yes, this is how I keep myself entertained these days! As I said before... it's the little things that bring much pleasure. Enjoy!
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Out of Control with BAD HABITS
The past 2 weeks kind of rocked me. I felt super out of whack and completely off balance in every aspect of my life. I've been running myself into the ground in my work world trying to help a particular teen complete college scholarship applications and other Club related competitions. I have put 100% in for this girl and will continue to do so, but man, it's wiping me out. I hope all my efforts bring forth great fruit!
With school, I continue to get amazingly good grades (YAY) but I leave everything to the LAST minute. I am usually up late ('til 4am-ish) every Tuesday night trying to finish homework due in class the next day. The dumb thing is I have every intention to do homework on MONDAY nights too, so I end up staying up SUPER late on Mondays, but really only get distracted, stay up 'til ridiculous hours of the night, and come away having accomplished absolutely nothing-- only another successful night of NO SLEEP. And yet, somehow, I show up for class every Wed 6-10pm full of energy, confidence, passion, and excitement for the world of school counseling. The program is perfect for me and I'm excited (and nervous) to get more into it come this spring! (I'll start a 100 hour practicum at a high school, observing a school counselor who I met through my work at the Boys & Girls Club. Score!)
I love love love my Church calling and continue to embrace it with love and smiles. Last weekend rocked me as I spent 7 hours at a winter workshop training for stake Young Leaders and Camp Leaders (I helped in one of the workshops)... and the following day I taught the youth in 2 different ward conferences. Nothing huge and scary-- just time consuming and exhausting. And I was so hoping the Spirit would be with me and help me teach effectively; I hope it did. I have a lot to juggle and organize and I often feel like I fall short in being a leader/mentor for the YW leaders in the stake, but I am determined to tie down loose ends and get it all on track. I am grateful for a gung-ho secretary and 2 great counselors to support me. I LOVE my interactions with the girls in the stake and have made efforts to attend high school basketball games for a few of them. I really enjoy doing stuff like that and will continue to do so as long as my schedule permits!
I taught the young women in the Spanish ward today... and spoke half English, half Spanish. I really enjoyed it! I learn so much from these girls and I am continually blessed as I study and dig into the gospel to prepare for these lessons. I feel myself growing in this calling and I need that.
I stopped caring and stressing about dating. I kind of just don't want to deal with it right now. And that's that. There are still a few lingering "set-ups" that haven't happened yet, but we all know I'm not in a hurry to make the first move with any of those.
My sleeping habits are out of whack. Big time. I rarely go to bed before 2am... and too often I end up turning out the light around 4am. Why?!? sigh. I don't know. The best excuse is I usually don't get home from work until after 9pm or so, so my "day" doesn't start until much later than most. I love being up at night. I love doing my thing. But I should really go to bed earlier so I can embrace the mornings and be productive during those hours. Life would be so much better. And I could actually go RUNNING again and feel good about my physical health! Lately I'm more like a zombie and just keep going.
I won't even go into details about my eating habits. All I know is I'm having some pretty weird allergic reactions of some sort and there are foods that definitely should not be eating... and I just keep eating them. I am starting to really think twice about my choices, especially in relation to the experiences my sister Heather is still going through. Click HERE to read her latest blog post. Have I ever told you I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis 10 years ago? Maybe I'll write about that some time... life goes on!
So here I sit. Drowning in my bad habits and off-balance behaviors. But even still... I am super happy and loving life. :) I have so much fun every day, whether at work, talking with family, with people in the stake, with Cassity, or just plain happy driving in my car. I take it as a compliment when I tell people I'm 32 yrs old and they kind of go, "Whaaaa??" Yup. True story.
So that's me. Plugging along, one day at a time.
p.s. I've written in my journal every singly day since Jan 1st. Super proud of myself!
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Song of the Week: "The Light" by Sara Bareilles
I love this song. SO much. It never gets old.
"The Light"
Sara Bareilles
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Song of the Week: "Daylight" by Maroon 5
I love this song!!!
I think I have listened to this song on repeat more than any other song.
Just sayin'.
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